Life begins at 40

What do you give a man who has everything? Well you could start with a car that has everything. Because when you’ve reached a station in life where your only competition is yourself and the biggest challenge is finding areas where you can still improve, it is time you drive something with exactly the same problem. Meet the new 911 Turbo: one of the quickest production cars. Ever.

Sure the Carrera GT is faster, but not necessarily quicker. The same goes with the GT2. And while the owners of exotic Porsches may now be polishing their pitchforks and Google-mapping my house, even they would have to admit, that the new 560hp 911 Turbo has managed to blur the lines between sports car, super car and land rocket.

0-100 in 3.1seconds. 0-200 in 10.1 seconds. Top speed of 315 km/h; 20.8 kilometers, 73 corners, 290 meter elevation gain, in 7 minutes and 27 seconds––on stock road tires. The defense rests, your honor.

Then again, no. Let’s rub it in a bit more. Because if there’s anything more impressive than Porsche’s outrageous claims it’s that independent tests show that those figures are actually modest, with dragtimes.ru clocking it at 2.9 seconds to a hundred and 9.6 seconds to 200, and fastestlaps.com logging the 991 Turbo around the ‘Ring in 7 minutes 26 seconds.

Impressive, sure. But trying to tell the 911 Turbo’s story in numbers is like trying to write about music with algebra. Take the new four-wheel steering system––a first for the Turbo––that allows the rear wheels to turn up to 2.8 degrees in the opposite direction when doing speeds under 50 km/h, and 1.5 degrees in the same direction for anything over 80 km/h.

Also, using lightweight materials, Porsche engineers were also able to shed off another 26kg from the body. But instead of donating that gain to the scales, they used the weight loss to give us active steering and bigger brakes with no extra weight penalty, meaning the Turbo still weighs in at 1590kg.

And boy does it pay off. Despite having one of the smallest engine displacements of all its competitors—and the lowest rated power output—the Turbo still manages to destroy the competition once it steps into the ring, outpacing the 458, the McLaren MP4-12C, the Carrera GT, the Pagani Zonda F, the Koenigsegg CCX and CCR, the Buga...ok, anything more from this point would just be gloating.

It all begins with a launch control system that you could use as often as your parking brake. None of this ‘use-it-and-it-will-void-your-warranty-crap.’ Porsche allowed us to do this all day and there wasn’t a hint of fatigue. Then there’s the drop in weight that allowed Porsche to throw in better brakes and active steering, plus the most incredible double clutch gearbox (PDK), and a brilliantly balanced boxer engine with direct fuel injection.

Add that to a longer wheelbase and a wider track, plus active spoilers that work like DRS in F1, bigger brakes, (380mm diameter vs 360mm) new air intakes and a water-cooled front axle, and you no longer have a car, but a weapon. Which explains why we headed over to a private firing range to test it.

The Bilster Berg Drive Resort in central Germany is a private club track owned by a baron who probably couldn’t decide whether he wanted to build a roller coaster or a racetrack. So he built both. Designed in conjunction with Walter Rohrl, the 4.140km track features steeper elevation angles than Spa Francochamps, making it feel more like an amusement ride than a racetrack––giving both lateral G’s and vertical G’s, with massive compressions at the dips and a sense of weightlessness at the crests that will make a religious man out of even the most devout atheist.

So what does all this feel like? I was about to find out.

I look for the fire-red start/stop button on the dash or around the gearbox. I forget for a moment that Porsche have refused to embrace the trend and still insist on sticking with tradition by making use of the twist key on the wrong side of the steering column. I would normally rant at this point, but honestly, aside from adding character, something this powerful really does need a safety switch. And the extra step in the process does just fine.

I am just thankful that Porsche engineers have finally succumbed to the pressure from customers and offered up the more functional left and right paddles instead of that clumsy push-button type arrangement that used to come standard in the older Tiptronic systems.

Once I dial in my perfect driving position, I twist the key and the needle on the prominent tachometer display snaps up to attention. Whereas some cars growl on idle, this one barks. Sharp, clean, angry barks with every stab of the throttle. And you’re fully aware that there is enough bite to back it up, too.

We line up behind the instructor. I’m used to this somewhat patronizing follow-the-leader thing, but by turn 2, he was gone. I bury the accelerator deep into the firewall to catch up. All four wheels dig into the track and propel me forward with the urgency of a teenage boy jumping out of his girlfriend’s bed when he hears her father come home. The first two gears feel like I have been shot out of a cannon, and it takes a second or so more to get my bearings. It is only after around 160 km/h or so do my eyes adjust and I begin to enjoy the ride.

The Turbo just keeps building up steam. Just when you think you’ve got the better of it, there always seems to be either another gear or an extra inch of travel on the accelerator. Throw it into corner and the load transfer is so fluid that it gives you predictable and sustainable oversteer that is easily modulated by your right foot. Power out of a tight right hander and all hell and its tenants break loose.

Thankfully though, with its linear power curve, you don’t get any nasty boost mid-corner––just smooth, brutal and relentless acceleration, which doesn’t unsettle the car. The stability control is also very lenient, allowing you some play before reigning you in so you can get some heroic oversteer, which always makes you, the driver feel in complete control.

I arrive at the long back straight that comes off a blind crest and then goes downhill for about a kilometer. It is so fast that it took me three laps to gather the balls to keep my foot flat. I didn’t dare look at the speedometer, but the last digit I saw creeping past was somewhere around 270 before the track starts to ascend briefly before the braking zone on the downhill portion. The suspension reaches full travel at the crest; you barely ‘land’ when you need to stomp on the brakes and wipe off 100 km/h in 50 meters or so, then balance the car through a 170 km/h downhill left hander.

Everything you need to know about how good this car is can be answered in those 15 seconds alone. The power, brakes, handling and balance are just sublime. From there it is another deceiving late apex left-hander before the main straight that caught more than a few drivers out, and then a blast towards turn 1.

Despite having a mix of challenging corners, there was not a sector where the Turbo felt lacking. You may have heard the term ‘rifling through the gears’—well, Porsche takes this to a whole new level. The paddles feel more like pulling a trigger. There is zero delay. It may not be the quickest car I have driven, but it would have to be one of the most satisfying.

A Ferrari 458 offers up a more religious experience, but the Porsche Turbo is definitely still the driver’s car to beat; steering is surgical, brakes are extremely powerful, and the gearbox now feels like a machine gun. It quite simply doesn’t get much better than this.

Visually, the new Turbo carries the same iconic shape as it always has, with some tasteful yet subtle sculpting. Where it sets itself apart is with heavily revised LED tail lights, daytime running lights and headlamps. There’s also a revised front spoiler that retracts, and gorgeous new 20-inch alloys.

Some may argue that not much has changed in the design of the 911 over the last 50 years, and I always say, and your point is? This is one of those universally understood sex symbols that looks just as good at 40 than it did on its debut. And redesigning it to make it modern would be as ridiculous as making Big Ben digital.