33 rules to survive an apocalypse according to Zombieland

Hyundai Tucson Zombie Survival Machine, created by Atoy Customs

MANILA, Philippines - It’s the eve of Halloween, and we don’t know what we’ll run into: a pack of hungry zombies or a gridlocked EDSA—the latter is probably more terrifying. In any case, it’s always good to be ready. Which is why we’ve compiled a to-do list guaranteed to save you in an apocalyptic emergency. Hey, it worked for the characters in Zombieland.

 

1.            Cardio

2.            The Double Tap

3.            Beware of Bathrooms

4.            Wear seat belts

                (with or without zombies)

5.            No attachments

6.            The “Skillet”

7.            Travel light

8.            Get a kick-ass partner

9.            With your bare hands

10.          Don’t swing low

11.          Use your foot

12.          Bounty paper towels

13.          Shake it off

14.          Always carry a

                change of underwear

15.          Bowling ball

16.          Opportunity knocks

17.          Don’t be a hero

                (later crossed out to be a hero)

18.          Limber up

19.          Break it up

20.          It’s a marathon,

                not a sprint; unless it’s

                a sprint, then sprint

21.          Avoid strip clubs

22.          When in doubt, know

                your way out

23.          Ziplock

24.          Use your thumbs

25.          Shoot first

26.          A little sun screen

                never hurt anybody

27. Incoming!

28. Double-knot your shoes

29. The Buddy System

30. Pack your stain stick

31. Check the back seat

32. Enjoy the little things

33. Swiss army knife

 

Show comments