Confessions of a two-wheel virgin

It was another one of those very busy payday Fridays...and as the rush hour came to be, the main thoroughfares of the metro transformed into battlegrounds cursed with repulsive traffic. I had to get myself to Pasong Tamo Extension coming from Quezon City that night; and if you live here, I’m sure you’re familiar with the type of driver’s penitence something like that would entail.

There was really no carpool option for me, as the rest of my northern-folk colleagues had already set out south earlier that day. All, except Steven Yu, a friend and fellow motoring journalist, who had offered me a hitch aboard his 110cc Blaze Buzz R Urban Sport motorbike. “Just bring your helmet, and I’ll come pick you up at the gym,” he said. Now, the last time I remember ever riding a motorcycle in Manila was when I was five years old, and my dad had to pick me up from kindergarten school. Nevertheless, open to a little grown-up adventure, I accepted the offer to be his back-rider.

Tight, low-rise skinny jeans, a t-shirt and my favorite pair of Onitsuka Tiger sneakers—these were what I wore that night, and I could not have been more wrong in picking the appropriate outfit! Not only did my tight jeans make it difficult for me to lean forward and straddle, it also left me frequently worried about whether I was giving away some free rear exposure! There were also a few other things that I failed to take into consideration, such as bringing eyewear that would protect my eyes when we ran at high speeds. Instinctively, all I thought I needed was a helmet...but alas, my baptism of fire educated me on a number of things I should bear in mind when traveling on two wheels! Hence, allow me to share with you a few of the interesting things I have realized after my exciting, two-wheeled adventure:

1.As the back-rider, you don’t just sit there—you actually have a role to play!

Yes, my fellow motorcycle virgins...your role is not limited to just being cute. Apparently, there is an art to back-riding (keeping your balance and leaning the right way during turns), and such a thing as ‘good back-riders’ and back-riders who add unnecessary burden to the driver! Steven said I was a great back-rider as it almost felt like I was not there at all—he had to occasionally check that I didn’t fly off the seat!

2.Love Handles > side handles

There are two ways of clinging: holding the handles beside the motorcycle seat, or clinging onto the love handles of the person driving. I feel a lot more secure with the latter. I think Steven had trouble breathing.

3. Traveling on two wheels does help you skip a lot of traffic, but does not make you immune to it.

The only way to completely evade traffic is by flying. Strangely, I had always imagined that riding a motorbike would allow you to magically zip through traffic! It is not as easy as it looks. The reality is that you still get slowed down by bumper to bumper traffic, except you have more opportunities to overtake.

4. Becoming a rider will instantly transform you into an environmentalist.

After having to inhale all the exhaust fumes amidst stop and go traffic, any rider is bound to become passionate about the clean air act and bound to become a fan of  green technology!

5. Less is more.

You don’t have a trunk. And you’re wide open to snatchers. ‘Nuff said!

6. Riding a motorcycle makes you extremely vulnerable! Hence people have two ways of coping: responsible driving or schizophrenia.

I never missed my seatbelt more, in my entire life! I felt naked and exposed. The reason though that I found this agreeable, was because I trusted the driver. I knew Steven was a veteran motorcyclist who had been riding for perhaps a good 28 years. The crazy riders who have no sense of vulnerability are those who confuse themselves with invincible superheroes.

7. As a rider, you have to develop your own cat whiskers.

Cats use their whiskers for balance, and to determine if they could fit their bodies through tight spaces. Riders also need this gift to safely weave themselves through vehicles in traffic.

True enough, Steven and I got to our destination safe and sound, and right on time. I however, disembarked the motorbike with a truly richer perspective: I had a brief experience of what it was like to be in the shoes of those on two wheels, in Manila-driving conditions. And the irony of it all...is that despite the presence of heavy traffic being the reason why I had found value in riding a motorcycle in the first place, I realized that the true fun part in riding two wheels is in the absence of it! Vroom vroom!