1 souped-up, blinged-up ride

MANILA, Philippines - It’s not wrong to regard the 1 Series as the entry-level BMW line and, well, it’s not entirely true, either.

While the 116i hatch – the most affordable Bimmer – comes in at an “easy” P1.99 million with its trusty 1.6-liter workman engine, it has beefier 1 Series siblings that are no pushovers in both price tag and performance.

Take the case of the mighty 135i Coupé M Sport – by no means an average ride for your average commute. Boasting three liters of aggression and six cylinders of in-line goodness mated to a seven-speed automatic, double-clutch transmission with Steptronic feature, this two-door delivers a punchy 306 horses and a torque-y 400 Nm.

And this 135i is no wallflower either. Liberally ladled with performance parts, and the looks to go with it, expect to motor around in head-turning style and substance. As it is, it’s not easy to melt into the background when you’re driving a BMW. Imagine one all blinged up with nary an apologetic bow.

Flanking the signature kidney grills – rendered in sporty black – are the usual four BMW eyes. Daylight lighting assures you of added safety and attention, even as the front air dams just below them give an appearance of wild aggression. You might even say this Bimmer seems ready to ingest small animals.

The Weiss sport stripes (priced at P17,000) lead your eyes from the hood to the roof to the graceful rear. The M Sports package bestowed this base 135i includes, among other sundries, 18-inch light alloy wheel set given differing tire specs for the front and rear – 214/40s up front and big 245/35s, respectively.

Side skirting and a couple of gaping exhaust pipes complete the all-around look that screams performance. Again, this is no poseur dressed in warrior’s armor. The rear wheel-driven 135i Coupé M Sport is ready to rumble.

Pop the hood open and you see just how much performance is crammed in there; the labeled “Power Kit” and the “Twin Power Turbo” assemblies make for a scrumptious sight to look at. There’s no space for the battery here, so off goes the spare tire to make room for it. Not to worry, for you have run-flat tires, and the computer checks on the inflation of these tires, anyway.

When you grasp the 135i’s BMW Performance steering wheel with paddle shifters (P186,000) in your hands, you will need some effort to turn it – wusses need not apply. This is no steroid-enhanced pretender. There’s serious performance at work here, so buckle up.

Press the start button and hear the engine gurgle, realizing that this BMW is one serious contender. As if clearing its throat prior to a grand performance, the coupé shatters the silence with roars and some backfiring for good measure.

When you take her out for a spin, you will inevitably be caught in some butt-numbing traffic. The coupé will share your distaste for this inconvenience, hiccupping with typical madness. Even as people stare at you (or, more correctly, your ride), this enjoyment goes away pretty quickly because you know you deserve the open road. Stop-and-go traffic is also bad for this thirsty three liter. At the worst of traffic, this Bimmer went for three kilometers to a litter. Yikes!

But being ever conscious of how much I could squeeze from the vehicle, I was constantly checking on fuel economy. A reasonable, realistic range is from five to 17 kilometers per liter. Not bad at all considering your foot on the gas pedal will be a heavy one.

The BMW Performance Sport Seat set (P376,000) provides great support for the type of driving you expect to make in this performer. Quick turns, jackrabbit starts, pin-point stopping – ah, such joys. The stock suspension system has been replaced with BMW Performance Sports ones (P131,000), as well as the front and rear brakes (P234,000).

Engaging as though the performance is, the 135i doesn’t make you forget it is a premium vehicle. The amber lighting, neat analog gauges with plenty of digital info as well (odometer, fuel economy, outside temperature, service schedule, oil level) indeed assure you you’re in the lap of luxury. Same goes for the tasteful two-tone color scheme within highlighted by metallic accents and a carbon fiber trim (P73,000).

There are atypical niceties for such a sporty vehicle that make it, gasp, practical as an everyday drive as well. You’d almost be surprised with the cup holders, and storage tray built within the rear seats (there are rear seats?).

When you wriggle free from the oppressive traffic, the 135i sprints from points A to B in no time flat. See that space on the right? You’re there in a heartbeat. Want to overtake that pesky, blowhard? Easy as pie. I reached a tepid 150 km/h in no time flat, and the Bimmer was begging for more, if not for slower vehicles, I’d have obliged.

“Sir, ang ganda naman ng sasakyan niyo (your car’s nice)!” gushed the young lady at the SLEX toll booth. I could only mutter thanks and wish that this monster 135i was mine. My girlfriend Joyce agrees. Now that we’re at it, the base Coupé M Sport (already given some sporty touches) goes for P4.59 million. You can ask your friendly neighborhood BMW dealer for the other stuff to further bling and power it up. Make no mistake about it: this 1’s no beginner, indeed. Darn pretty serious stuff to be called “entry level.”