What's wrong with the South?

On average, I’ve been taking the South “Superhighway” to Laguna or Batangas thrice a month this year, and I dread each trip. I’m fortunate that I live in Parañaque, so southbound from Makati I just need to exit at Sucat to get home. Forty minutes on average, a full hour if I’m having a bad day. I can only imagine the stress people who commute back and forth from Makati and farther south have to go through on a daily basis. This is because “South Super” is anything but. From the decently paved highway of few years ago it has turned into a tiresome (and dangerous) obstacle course that defies logic. I know that it is undergoing a massive expansion project, but I’ve never seen something so seemingly haphazard.

Towards Bicutan, for example, the three southbound lanes contract into two under the Bicutan overpass thanks to a line of concrete barriers eating up the rightmost lane. Squeeze under the still-under-construction-and-probably-always-will-be Skyway expansion project (try not to get broadsided by buses coming down from the Bicutan off-ramp), breathe a momentary sigh of relief as the road widens into three lanes again, then prepare for battle 500 meters from the Alabang viaduct. Here the viaduct contracts into one and three quarters of a lane, where it spells doom for your car if you attempt to share space beside an 18-wheeler. Past the viaduct – assuming you’re still in one piece – the highway turns into a moonscape of roughly graded asphalt, a set of three or four single lanes that veer left, right, and occasionally collide as they bypass the patchwork-like diggings all the way to Canlubang. Try to remember your exit or which gas station you plan to take a leak in because you could end up bypassing it if you use the wrong lane. Try not to wallop a low-profile tire into the numerous potholes either.

Just in case you get bored, like when traffic is moving along at a good pace, for example, it will mysteriously STOP for several minutes. Twenty minutes is my personal record. Maybe some earthmovers are crossing the road. Perhaps a motorist has gone cross-eyed and steered himself into the ditches. Perhaps it’s a good time to get on the phone and tell everyone you’re meeting that you’ll be late thirty minutes.

Thankfully, pain is temporary and lets you know you’re alive. Eventually you’ll get out, and if you’re heading to Batangas, you’ll have the pleasure of driving on the STAR Tollway, which is the next best thing to riding in the Space Shuttle. For less than P100, you get a forty-plus kilometer stretch of two-lane that will reacquaint you with the Divine Trinity. I don’t know how the engineers managed to do it, but for a highway with such potential (clear horizons, lots of grassy runoff areas), it feels like you’ll be going airborne in the blink of an eye. It has the sort of high frequency bumpiness that tells you your tires have no real contact with the surface. Every few kilometers you’ll see a nice set of skid marks leading into the grass, indicative of drivers who’ve lost control on a highway that has most – but not all – of the needed elements for fast and safe high-speed driving. Then, of course, when the highway ends you’ll be reunited with those staples of provincial roads: jeepneys and tricycles driven by fearless souls who could give those F1 boys a run for their money. But that could also be said for the North.

Ah, the North. Except for the high toll fees, I’ve absolutely come to love going there. A trip to Subic is no longer a trip to Hell what with the excellent Subic-Clark-Tarlac Expressway. Likewise a trip to Tarlac, although going further north is still a trial. The North Luzon Expressway started it all with the costly renovation of the surface end-to-end, along with mildly strict enforcement of the speed limit (you just have to watch out for the speed traps) and plenty of vehicle assistance sections. The SCTex continues that practice, and even at night (most sections are still unlit) there’s not much to be worried about if you suffer a mechanical; roving patrol cars are just a few minutes away. Would that the people in charge of the South “Super” took a page from the NLEX-SCTex manual. Or maybe they just like to dig ever deeper holes.

Speak out, be heard and keep those text messages coming in. To say your piece and become a “Backseat Driver”, text PHILSTAR<space>FB<space>MOTORING<space> YOUR MESSAGE and send to 2840 if you’re a Globe or Touch Mobile subscriber or 334 if you’re a Smart or Talk ’n Text subscriber or 2840 if you’re a Sun Cellular subscriber. Please keep your messages down to a manageable 160 characters. You may send a series of comments using the same parameters.)