Pedigree for the Pragmatists?:Mercedes-Benz B170

As you know, luxury cars are never about practicality. Oh sure, those with deep pockets can justify choosing this or that marque over another, citing such reasons as "value-for-money" or "it came with a big discount!", but the truth of the matter is that any el cheapo ride can do the job of a luxury car, which is to transport you from point A to point B. Of course, what separates a rich man’s ride from Average Juan’s clunker is the manner of getting there, wherever "there" may be. You want practical? Get a Picanto. You want more? The sky’s the limit.

In this Merc’s case, there’s no point in justifying its P2.2 million price tag, then. Buy one and forget about telling your neighbors you bought it for its class-leading interior room. Forget about telling them you bought it for the fuel economy. Just buy it because, hell, you love how it looks, you love what Mercedes Benz stands for, and, yeah, it really IS plenty useful coming from a brand that’s known more for prestige than pragmatism. Right.

Now that we’ve gotten over that, what exactly does this Merc bring to your existence? First, it will give you envious looks from everyone, and we mean everyone. Outfitted as our (black) test unit was with optional 17-inch Sport wheels, we garnered a score of 10/10 on every friend, peer and neighbor during the car’s stay with yours truly. One gentleman even alarmed me for some 5 seconds when he stopped his car in front of me at an intersection, not to abduct me or anything, but merely to get a long, hard look at the car and throw me a thumb’s up. Really.

Okay, the neighbor’s maid asked me what was the point in borrowing another Honda Jazz when I already had one parked in the garage, but she could be forgiven for the mistake. I mean, it does look a little bit like the Jazz, right? And it does use the same concept, which is to maximize a given floorpan by putting the wheels right up to the edges, then slapping on a tall and wide body and outfitting it with folding-every-which-way seats to make the most use of the given room. Brilliant! For a weekend of bike racing, the B170 easily swallowed my bike, several bags, a cooler, several grocery bags of junk food and Gatorade, and my extremely supportive girlfriend who didn’t mind taking the helm after another day of pedaling my butt off for God-knows-what-reason.

The driving position isn’t exactly the best in the biz what with an arm’s out style and a steering wheel rim that’s large enough to be in a minivan, but the rest of the cockpit is a beaut. The dark grain of the dashboard feels as expensive as those of higher-end Mercs, the silver trim doesn’t feel at all tacky, and those seats are fabulous. They’re not luxo-barge soft, instead they’re stiff and supportive, absorbing the body just enough for long hours without causing any aches or the need to stretch tight-feeling limbs. Still, I really wonder why M-B sticks to a rotary dial to adjust the tilt of the seatback when everyone knows the lever-mechanism is a much faster method.

Floor the throttle and prepare to be… well, just enjoy the ride. You want a heart-stopping ride, go buy yourself an AMG. With the B170, you get where you need to go fairly quickly, it’s just that cruising is much more fun. The 1.7-liter, two-valve powerplant puts out just 117 horsepower through a continuously variable transmission. Much like the CVT we’re all familiar with in the Jazz, "Drive" lets you cruise along in full-on econo-mode, where it happily returned up to 13kpl during our 4-day test drive. Not exactly a record-breaking figure there, but still better than what you’d expect from a luxury car. Put it in manumatic mode and you trigger the shifts by toggling the shifter left or right. Not particularly intuitive or as sporty as a regular forward-backward setup, but this isn’t a sports car anyway. For the rare moment when you need to shift for yourself, it gets the job done and nothing more.

Likewise, handling is disciplined but unremarkable. The cornering attitude is pretty flat for a tall car thanks to the wide track and stretched wheelbase, but it’s simply not a sporty car in the first place. Understeer is the name of the game, and you’ll feel a progressively tippy feeling as you corner faster and faster. For a "mini-minivan", or a tall hatchback, however, it’s a pretty good package that’s stable enough to tackle a nice set of hills without tossing you all over the road. The ride, in fact, is firm enough to be bothersome over a daily commute, although we’ll take firm over wallowy any day of the week. Like any other car of European pedigree, you can drive for hours and hours without ever feeling as tired as you would in a cheaper ride.

Would that our test unit had the build quality equal to the brand’s rep, though. Popping the hood open to try to find the tiny engine somewhere in the bay, it wouldn’t latch shut after despite our best slamming and pressing; only after an hour of driving with the hood semi-unlatched did it finally relent. On another occasion with fellow contributor Manny de los Reyes, the engine went into ‘safe’ mode, creeping along at less than 30kph before bringing things back to normal after the engine was restarted. Hmm…

Who, we wonder, is this B-class targeted at? We suspect conservative Benz fans will frown at its front-wheel drive layout (sacrilege!), while driving enthusiasts will be underwhelmed by its underachieving (albeit frugal) powerplant. We’re guessing the young and wealthy folks who need the cachet of the tri-star logo on a dynamic-looking car then, one that says status without making one look like he (or she) is driving something his father would roll around in. It will not stimulate your lust for driving like the BMW 1-Series will, but we guarantee you that it will make you look really good behind the wheel. And if the neighbor’s ask why you chose it, you can always tell them you bought it for the cargo room. Hey, it’s practical!

The Good:

Fabulous styling. Extensive safety features. Stable, firm, drive-all-day ride. Maximized interior room. Frugal powerplant. Stimulates envy like few other ‘entry-level’ luxury cars.

The Bad:

Underachieving engine. Awkwardly-sized steering wheel. Geeky, buzzing exhaust note. Your neighbors might secretly hate you.

The Verdict:

A dynamically styled Benz that’s as practical as it is attractive. Delivers most of the feel-good luxury car sensations… except for the speed.