Frankly, it’s an embarrassment. It is not flattering to be labeled a "crazy" driver. It might cater to that peculiar Latino streak in us that secretly craves for a macho reputation, but you know what? Whenever someone drives with a devil-may-care attitude, weaving in and out of lanes, cutting other people off, tailgating and squirting in and out of tiny slots in traffic like it’s his own little Grand Prix, and patting himself on the back for getting through without a scratch, he’s just pissing everybody off. He makes me mad. He makes YOU mad. And then when everybody’s mad as hell and blown a head-gasket, that’s when accidents happen.
The funny thing is that it doesn’t even take a reckless driver to get my goat. I drive 70k every weekday, and I can say that I’ve seen every kind of dumb and careless move on the road that would make other people reach for a handgun and just start shooting already. That’s why I don’t own a gun, and don’t intend to ever go postal on the road one horrible day. Public utility drivers, private motorists, it doesn’t matter. Bad driving behavior is everywhere. Jeeps that wait for passengers on street corners. Taxis that swerve lanes for no reason. Drivers that take up two lanes. AUVs that clutter the "fast lane" with their crawling pace. Buses that throw their weight around.
It’s maddening. So, no, I don’t think we’re among the best drivers in the world. I think we’re the crappiest, although, to our credit, we’re probably among the luckiest, else we’d have more accidents than the usual. If you looked at traffic from a bird’s eye view, you’d see cars weaving all over the road, swerving from lane-to-lane without the impact. How’d we do that? My theory is that everyone is half-expecting trouble to happen within the next few meters, so the hands and the feet are perpetually primed to brake or swerve in the blink of an eye. It’s tiring, you know, driving for survival every day of the week. In just a few hours behind the wheel, you can see several traits displayed just by the driving behavior:
"Kapal-ng-mukha" — Such as when someone blithely hogs two lanes by straddling the line (or could it be the driver is just stupid?), or when someone suddenly stops and pulls to the side without using the signal lights, or when some officious prick bulls his way through traffic with a fleet of SUVs and a gang of bodyguard-thugs. And, how can I forget, the counterflowers? The people who are more-important-than-everybody-else and who, must, therefore, occupy the opposite lane to gain a few minutes’ advantage, if at all, but more likely causing a bigger traffic jam.
Carelessness — Such as when someone drifts into your lane and forces you out of it despite your beeping of the horn and flashing of lights, or when a driver parks on a tight and busy street unmindful of all the traffic he’s just clogged up…
Non-confrontational — Do you know what’s really strange? Lousy drivers can do the most thick-skinned maneuvers on the road, turning a blind eye to flashing headlamps and a deaf ear to incessant horn-blasts. However, if you can give them a cold and unflinching stare, a few choice words yelled at them (only works if their window’s down) or have something handy to throw at them, chances are they’ll back down. One time, a Caucasian guy in front of me rolled down his window and had a word with the guy next to him that had dared to cut him off. The offending party was cowed and gave me hope for the rest of mankind. Another time, a jeep from the rightmost lane swerved into mine (the leftmost), stopped, then decided to make a u-turn right then and there. Fortunately, I had a Michelin paperweight lying around in the car, and I must tell you, it felt good flinging it and hearing the loud bang it made on his fender. The driver looked like he’d seen a ghost. In retrospect, it was the wrong thing to do… but I’d had enough for that day.
I’d be lying, of course, if I said I haven’t been guilty of these same traits at one time or other. I’ve had my share of embarrassing moments when I’ve backed out into a busy street and didn’t see an oncoming car, I’ve had those zonked-out moments on the road when I changed lanes and didn’t see a car in my blind spot. But I can tell you that I, and a lot of other drivers, actually, make a conscious effort to drive as responsibly, as courteously, and as invisibly as possible. It’s less stressful that way, without even having to slow down.
Indeed, one of the most satisfying moments behind the wheel is when I get to experience courtesy reciprocated by other drivers, like when an oncoming driver slows down and gestures you to merge into their lane. Or when motorists on a two-lane road alternate merging into a one-lane without a fuss. Back when I took my driver’s license exam so many years ago (I did not bribe anyone, by the way), one multiple-choice question stood out, my answer to which caused my dad (who taught me most of what I needed to know about driving) quite a laugh: A driver’s license is a) a right b) a privilege c) an honor. When you’re a teenager faced with the prospect of finally driving the family car and with the seeming risk of forfeiting that chance on the strength of a single question, your mind can go haywire from all the stress. I actually answered "c".
Unfortunately, a lot of drivers seem to have answered "a", when in fact, it’s really just a privilege you have to keep earning every minute on the road. To keep things simple, here are a few mental reminders I always drive with to get where I need to go safely without pissing anybody off and without letting myself get bullied in traffic. It makes the daily drive so much more relaxing, and to see it practiced by others even more so.
Use those turn signals, when changing lanes or turning into streets.
Use that horn to assert your presence in a lane if others want to crowd you in. Don’t go nuts with it, though.
Don’t be afraid to give others The Stare if you feel you’re right.
Don’t bull your way through traffic. It agitates everyone else. If you must go quickly, finesse it with smooth lane changes and overtaking.
Don’t be a slowpoke. It slows down people at the back.
Do let the old lady cross the street. Even if she’s not your mother.
Pay attention to the road. If you really have to use the phone, master the art of texting and dialing with your peripheral vision. And use the speakerphone function. Or a headset.
Remember that at busy intersections, the first one to approach it has the right of way. Even if isn’t you.
Let people back out into a street if they’re leaving a parking slot. A few seconds delay won’t matter.
If you’re the one backing out, hurry up. Nobody has all day to admire your reverse lights.
Tricycles are still using Aguinaldo Highway in Cavite. Please inform the Cavite Traffic Management Group. Thanks. — 09165885780
I have an 82 Mitsubishi Lancer box type. Is it okay to use ethanol or E10 on it? — 09185005578 (The general rule is that carburetor-run engines cannot run on an ethanol blend, though fuel injected engines are not automatically ethanol-capable. It would be best to check with your manufacturer if you are in doubt. There is no doubt, however, that your Lancer CANNOT run on E10.)
Please inform us about ethanol’s corrosive effects. Also, more aggressive patrols sana sa NLE south-bound, specially around 7PM, wild truck drivers abound. — 09219085555 (It is true that ethanol can be corrosive to several rubber parts of a car’s fuel line — through newer models generally steer clear of such corrosive parts — which is why it is best to check with your manufacturer if it is okay to run your particular model on an ethanol formulation.)
Your column regarding the Stupid Drivers Club is good but what about tricycle drivers who go around without helmets? — 09162140011
You are right, but traffic enforcers and cops don’t know their work. They can’t even ID cars properly. Cops are violators too. — MDG Sunico
Our traffic is already bad with the undisciplined jeepney drivers but it became 10 times worse because of the tricycle and pedicab drivers who are actually worse. — 09178531454
Thanks for the info regarding the Stupid Drivers Club. How do I get deputized with the LTO? — 09178302464
Can’t anything be done about the erring drivers along Banawe Street and its sidestreets? Mechanics do their tinkering everywhere. — 09184492015
I agree with Mr. Dizon’s column. How I wish the traffic enforcers know who are the real traffic violators and apprehend them. — 09178531454
The MMDA is so strict in enforcing the Coding scheme at busy V. Mapa-Old Sta. Mesa area but they let the vulcanizing shops there use up one of only two available lanes. — 09178459239
Right on Dizon, regarding stupid drivers, especially about those with no headlights and covered rear plates. — 09188874766
It’s good to know that there’s someone else sharing the same sentiments about stupid drivers and traffic enforcers. — 09209326099
Speak out, be heard and keep those text messages coming in. To say your piece and become a "Backseat Driver", text PHILSTAR<space>FB<space>MOTORING<space>YOUR MESSAGE and send to 2840 if you’re a Globe or Touch Mobile subscriber or 334 if you’re a Smart or Talk ‘n Text subscriber or 2840 if you’re a Sun Cellular subscriber. Please keep your messages down to a manageable 160 characters. You may send a series of comments using the same parameters.