Patrolling Pundaquit

Ever wonder why plenty of Nissan Patrols always seem to have that "wang-wang" siren, the gizmo for power-freaks who can’t stand to wait at red lights and who believe in the questionable logic of counterflowing in congested streets? We think we have the answer: the standard horn is... meek. Press the horn-area of the airbag-equipped steering wheel and an embarrassing "meep-meep!" sound is produced.

This is not a confident expression of authority and affluence, especially for a full-size SUV that carries the reputation of being the favored mount of bodyguards, politicians, and executives traveling more-or-less incognito. On a practical note, a better sounding horn could do wonders for keeping wayward motorists and pedestrians out of your way. That’s no small thing when many a tricycle driver suddenly decides to try out your lane on the road to Zambales, in which you’re barreling down at 130 kph. "S’cuse me! Outtatheway! The mayor’s coming through!" is a line that gets tiring after you’ve yelled it out the window too many times.

Distributed by Universal Motors Corporation, the hot, 4x2 Nissan Patrol has a tag line of "Power has its Pleasures". Truth in advertising... or wishful thinking? The engine of our test unit was the 3-liter, 4-cylinder, twin-cam, turbocharged and intercooled diesel available with either a 5-speed manual or 4-speed automatic. It makes 155 horsepower at 3,600 rpm and 354 Newton-meters of torque at 2,000 rpm. Like the Isuzu Trooper’s engine, the Patrol’s is a model of smoothness and quietness for diesel engines.

Rev it up to the 4,500 rpm and very little vibration and noise makes it through the firewall. Turn off the ignition and the computer box gently delays fuel cutoff to the engine so there’s no violent shudder that’s common to other diesels. The 4-speed slushbox of the test unit is truly "slushy" for better and worse. Better because there’s no shift shock even when you manually select "2" or "L". Worse because it takes too long to downshift, the gear ratios are too tall, and there’s no "Power" switch (as with other SUVs) that raises shift points and quickens response time.

Power for the turbodiesel only truly arrives at the 3,000 rpm mark. Below that level, performance is as flat as the North Luzon Expressway because the turbo hasn’t really spooled up yet... and you’ll often find yourself below 3,000 rpm in cut-and-thrust traffic situations in that godawful highway. Get the 5-speed manual if you overtake a lot and like keeping your engine always "on the boil" because the engine is otherwise happy to propel you upwards of 130 kph without a fuss.

What about the "pleasure" part? No complaints here. Leather upholstery, front power-adjustable seats, fully-automatic climate control, and aircon vents all around make for a neat, long-distance vehicle for the driver and passengers. You also get the all-important front and rear cupholders and premium stereo: a 2-DIN cassette/CD Clarion unit with A-pillar tweeters, 4 side speakers, and 6-disc CD changer. Pity the display has a horrid red, green, and yellow karaoke-like graphic equalizer.

The ride (especially in back) is a bit stiff and bouncy for an all-coil spring type suspension, but it does enhance the sturdy, tough-as-nails aura of the truck. So, have the bodyguards weigh down the otherwise unladen cargo area with Armalites and RPGs. Steering is sharp and responsive for such a large and heavy vehicle; you’ll have no problem evading crossing kittens and would-be kidnappers. Or you can just run them over with its 16-inch tires.

So it was with this vehicle that we went looking for adventure in the sleepy fishing village of Pundaquit, Zambales. The beach is nothing special, but the nearby islets of Camera and Capones Island are. For P350, you can get a pumpboat ride for 4 (plus its owner) to those two islets that lie off Pundaquit about 10 and 20 minutes away, respectively. Camera "Island’ is actually composed of two big rocks linked by a sand bar, totaling less than a square kilometer. Imagine the island in the movie "Cast Away", but without Tom Hanks. You yourself can also be a castaway for a night if you tell the pumpboat owner to come back for you the next day. Arm yourself with the requisite camping gear because there are absolutely NO tourist facilities here.

Capones Island is bigger; about 5 square kilometers, and it has a lighthouse you can tour. A trek around the island will take at least one hour. We weren’t feeling adventurous enough to camp in either of the islands overnight. Well, at least I, the holder of the car keys, (and therefore, our group’s "God") wasn’t. We stayed instead at Pundaquit’s Capones Beach Resort (tel. # 0918-902-7845).

By cleverly hiding our vehicle of affluence a hundred meters away from the nicely-appointed resort and personally giving the manager an "impoverished writer" act, we got a whopping P1,000 discount off the regular P2,800 overnight rate. Not bad for a room with a double bed, two single beds, air-conditioning, and bathroom... with working shower too, all on the condition that we’d get the discount as long as we ordered meals from them at least once.

Bonus: free use of the billiard table, sun deck, and huts. Located also in the resort’s resto is a videoke machine. For five bucks a song, it’ll play almost any cheesy number you secretly like. It will also generously grade your performance no lower than "80" (100 being the highest, of course) no matter how off tune your friends try to be. The particular friend who couldn’t stop terrorizing other patrons with his voice and bagful of five peso coins shall remain nameless... for now.

A deal is a deal, and the management stuck to their discount agreement after we loonies had paid up front and parked our Patrol in full view of the staff and other envious patrons. Power sure has its pleasures...even if it sounds more Road Runner than Elmer Fudd’s shotgun. —Pricing for the Patrol is as follows: Turbodiesel with 5-mt, P1.765M; Turbodiesel with 4-AT, P1.860M, 201 hp 6-cylinder gas with 4-at, P1.950M.