The rise of social media has given everyone with a ring light and a catchy tagline the illusion of expertise. Self-proclaimed “gurus” promise life-changing secrets in 60-second videos while showcasing their expensive cars, fancy clothes and questionable motivational quotes.
But as you embark on your journey – whether in business, personal growth or creativity – you need to discern between two groups: those who truly have domain knowledge and those who just look the part.
And trust me, picking the right ones isn’t as simple as clicking “Follow.”
Let’s set the stage. You’re building something great – a business, a career, a vision – and need input. Not everyone deserves a seat at your table. Here’s where the distinction matters:
The cheerleaders are the ones who scream, “You’ve got this!” and throw confetti when you’re feeling down. They’re your hype squad, the ones who clap even when you’re juggling flaming torches and dropping half of them. And they’re essential!
Sometimes, hearing “You’re amazing!” is precisely what you need to keep going.
But here’s the catch: If all you have are cheerleaders, you might become the emperor with no clothes – surrounded by applause but blind to your blind spots. Bless their enthusiastic souls; cheerleaders are like GPS systems stuck on the “fastest route,” ignoring the roadblocks and potholes ahead. They give you the confidence to run but rarely help you check if you’re running in the right direction.
A story is told of a self-proclaimed entrepreneur who promised freedom from the dreaded 9-to-5 grind. His advice? “Just quit and follow your passion!” Inspired, one of his followers ditched a steady job to start a candle-making business with zero market research. When sales didn’t materialize, he returned to the guru, who said, “You just didn’t believe in yourself enough.” Spoiler alert: The follower ended up back in a 9-to-5 job, this time with debt and a closet full of unsold candles.
The coaches are the ones who love you enough to make you squirm. They point out that you’re gripping the tennis racket wrong or your social media strategy is a content carousel of cringe. Their goal isn’t to tear you down but to help you build something better.
Coaches bring domain expertise – deep craft knowledge honed through experience or observation. They know how to play the game or, at the very least, how it should be played. An actual coach will call you out when you’re about to make a bad decision. Think of them as the friend who’ll lean over at dinner and whisper, “Spinach in your teeth,” instead of letting you walk around smiling at strangers. Sure, it’s awkward, but it saves you from embarrassment. Good coaches critique the work, not the worker. Their feedback is about refining the process, not diminishing your worth. If your coach starts making it personal, you’re dealing with a critic, not a coach.
Social media is a playground for fake gurus, often cheerleaders and not coaches. Their advice tends to be the intellectual equivalent of cotton candy – sweet and fluffy but lacking in substance.
Here’s how to spot them:
They oversimplify complex problems. (“Want to be a millionaire? Just wake up at 5 a.m!”)
They sell solutions without depth. (If their “system” is a Canva template and a 30-minute webinar, run.)
They make success look easy. (They conveniently forget to mention the years of struggle behind their rented or borrowed sports cars.)
A real expert? They’ll be transparent about their failures and candid about the work involved.
Not everyone needs to sit at your table, and most people don’t have the insight to offer meaningful feedback. Here’s how to evaluate whose voice to prioritize:
Are they informed? Do they understand your field or goals?
Are they constructive? Do they critique your work, not your character?
Are they aligned? Are they genuinely invested in helping you succeed?
Cheerleaders keep you motivated. Coaches make you better. Cheerleaders give you the energy to keep going. Coaches ensure you’re heading in the right direction. Fake gurus? They drain your wallet.
The next time someone offers advice, ask yourself: Are they lifting you with blind optimism or sharpening your skills with tough love? Your journey deserves both inspiration and refinement.
My kids, Bryan and Maxine, launched their restaurant late last year, and it’s now the talk of the town, with reservations fully booked almost every day. Their friends and family, myself included, are their cheerleaders – we celebrate their success and cheer them on at every step. But when they collaborate with renowned, seasoned chefs who taste their sauce and say, “Cut back on the salt, add a touch more acid and refine your plating,” those chefs become their coaches. This balance – the encouragement of cheerleaders and the constructive critique of coaches – propels them toward greatness.
Francis Kong’s “Inspiring Excellence” podcast is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google or other podcast streaming platforms.