The patience and impatience paradox

A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.

“I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells him.

The doctor has been gone for a while, and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat, and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room. Just then, the doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water.

“Ok, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 minutes.”

People who know me and have worked with me understand this paradox: I am incredibly patient and intensely impatient. I am patient when my team members make mistakes – it’s part of the learning process. However, I have little tolerance for repeated errors or unnecessary delays in completing tasks that require immediate attention.

My entire life journey can be summed up with a simple philosophy: If it needs to be done, why not do it right away? By acting promptly, I can clear tasks off my plate and focus on what’s next.

This principle extends to everything I do. I respond to messages, emails and inquiries quickly because I don’t particularly appreciate making people wait. It also influences how I approach events and engagements – I always arrive early and thoroughly prepared.

By ensuring all the essentials for my training sessions and speaking engagements are in place ahead of time, I create space for creativity. The extra time allows me to refine my presentation, adapt to the environment, and incorporate real-time insights to make my content more relevant and impactful. It’s a system that keeps me productive and consistently delivers my best.

Over several decades of speaking and training, I can confidently say that these two habits of mine – promptness and preparation – have yielded consistently positive results. Not only have they helped me secure more business and engagements, but more importantly, they have earned my clients’ trust and confidence. And trust, in my view, is the most valuable benefit.

For instance, as invitations pour in for me to speak at various “Start of the Year Rallies” or kickoff events, I have already prepared a wealth of new, fresh and relevant materials. These resources have been meticulously curated and organized well in advance, ensuring I am fully ready to deliver meaningful and impactful sessions for the events scheduled this January. This commitment to preparation allows me to meet and exceed expectations consistently. Clients know they will not be disappointed.

Impactful sessions aren’t born of last-minute scrambling. All that’s left is a dash of customization, achieved through a solid training needs analysis – a non-negotiable step to crafting work that doesn’t just shine but soars.

It is not rocket science. It’s fundamental. Clients often marvel at the presentation’s creativity because of the spontaneity. I smile and think of a principle I learned from the legendary speaker and author Zig Ziglar of the ‘80s when he said, it takes years of work to become spontaneous.

These days, as I mentor a select group of high achievers across various fields, my focus isn’t on teaching them how to speak more eloquently or wield powerful words – though those are excellent skills. Instead, I hone in on something far more transformative: cultivating strong work ethics and habits that catapult them to their personal best. It’s not just about speaking well. It’s about building character, fostering the right attitude, pursuing excellence relentlessly, and developing winning habits that define true success.

As Gretchen Rubin, the brilliant author and podcaster, aptly says:

“The key thing about a habit is that you’re not making a decision. You’re not deciding whether to brush your teeth. You’re not deciding whether to use a seatbelt. You’re not deciding whether to go to the gym first thing in the morning. You’ve already decided, and the advantage of a habit is that once something’s on automatic pilot, the brain doesn’t have to use any energy or willpower to make a decision.” 1

In other words, success isn’t about grand gestures – it’s about the everyday rituals that, over time, build extraordinary outcomes. And the benefit of it is that it leaves a lot of room to be creative and spontaneous.

Francis Kong’s “Inspiring Excellence” podcast is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google or other podcast streaming platforms.

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https://preprod.bigthink.com/neuropsych/how-to-break-bad-habits/