What troubles me a lot? Remembering names and faces. Names, I cannot recall, but faces would come back to me after a while. Meanwhile, an unintended offense may have been made.
Whenever someone approached me, I knew we had met before, yet I could not remember their name. It got to be so embarrassing and I’m working on improving my memory. When somebody comes up to me and says, “Hey Francis, do you remember me?” I would pull out a Zig Ziglar line and say, “I normally have a photographic memory, but I am currently low on the battery...” (revised edition).
Michael Tipper writes an article titled “How to Remember Names and Faces.’’I find it helpful and I will share a few of his thoughts with you.
The biggest challenge most people have with their memories is remembering the names of people they have met. They recognize the faces but cannot remember the names. Has this happened to you before? I’m sure it has.
Understand one thing: the brain thinks in pictures. Since someone’s face is a picture, it is only natural that you will recognize it. But what was their name? It is difficult to recall someone’s name because you probably have yet to hear it correctly (if at all) in the first place. Often, introductions are hurried affairs, mainly if there are several people to be introduced to, and most people’s attention is on saying their name correctly or shaking hands with just the proper grip. So, if you never got the name in the first place, how can you ever expect to remember it? The following tips will help you:
1. As you are introduced to someone, get a good look at their face so that its image is impressed onto your mind. (And I mean whether you like that face or not. Just joking!)
2. When they offer their name, repeat it to them, saying something like “John, it is nice to meet you” or “Mrs. Reyes, thank you for attending this seminar.” This is a good way to develop your social skills.
3. Clarify the spelling and pronunciation of any unusual names to make sure that you have got it just right (it is, of course, only polite that you do so). Don’t feel uncomfortable doing this; the person you meet will be flattered that you are taking the trouble to ask. I’ve had people call me Francis Hong, Song, Dong, and Long, and frankly, it is very irritating.
4. During your function, mentally review the names of the people you have met by looking at each one and recalling what they are called. Listening to others speak to or of them will help you fill gaps.
5. During conversations with these people, use their names as you address them or refer to them. For example, you could say, “Well, David, what are your views on that?” or “That was an interesting point you made there, Susan.”
6. At the end of the function, if you have been introduced to someone, it is only courteous that you should say goodbye to them. This, of course, is another opportunity to use their name again to reinforce it once more. You could say, “Mr. Reyes, it was a pleasure to meet you and I am so sorry we did not have time to talk about your golf game.”
7. As you say farewell, there may be one or two people with whom you wish to keep in touch, so now is a good opportunity to exchange business cards. When you have their card, make sure that you get a good look at it so that you can see the name written down for the very first time, providing yet another anchor for the name.
8. After the function, note the people you have met, ideally on the back of any business card you may have been given. Then, review these notes to implant their name into your long-term recall.
By doing this, you will increase your probability of remembering everyone you ever meet by at least 50 percent. It does take a bit of effort, and you have to balance the benefits of doing it this way against the problems associated with forgetting names.
Remember, nothing sounds sweeter than the sound of one’s name. A name is essential. Ever wonder why Scripture says God already knows our name even before we were born?
Francis Kong’s “Inspiring Excellence” podcast is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms.