Leaders battle with vacations

Leaders do battles every day. I do. But there is an epic battle I deal with all the time. The kind of battle that merits a scolding from my excellent physician friend Dr. Mark and the battle I have been going through for many decades. And that is the battle and the struggle with taking a vacation. Dr. Mark has never failed to remind me to take an extended vacation.

I have discovered that I am not alone. Many leaders are in the same predicament. And so we improvise, and we get creative. We pop a little email, look over our chat group, and throw in a quick Zoom (while the family sleeps) with our key people to see if anything is on fire.

Others are honest and upfront. They say, “I will be on a working vacation,” which is an oxymoron right up the alley of other oxymorons like “virtual reality,” “seriously funny,” and “living dead.”

The more driven a leader is, the more difficult it is for them to know how to take a vacation. Here are the reasons why:

1. The rhythm

We have gotten used to the fast-paced hum of having to do many things and the next thing. We have mastered this pace and rhythm in our quest for higher productivity.

A friend told me he discovered my secret sauce in doing 300 or more talks, seminars and engagements yearly. He says I have found the rhythm. He was right. Today, I have intentionally slowed down and carefully chosen the engagements I would like to do to increase the quality of the work.

2. Guilt

When I take a few days off, I have this nagging guilty feeling, like I am slackening off. Experts today call this “productivity shame.” It is the feeling that no matter what we have done, we keep thinking we could have done more.

3. Unrealistic pragmatism

“Sure, I get a few days off, but can you imagine the backlog? I will have to catch up with the days of absence from my work. I will be more stressed by then... and what about the bills I must pay because of the vacation...”

I thought I was being wise and pragmatic. For me, the best vacation is a working vacation. Clients bring me off-site or out of the country for some talks, seminars or other forms of engagement; then, they give me a day to explore the place, rest and recharge. And I call these “vacations.”

Add to this is another peculiarity I have developed over the years. Let me speak for multiple whole days (I have done eight full days straight of leadership training interrupted only by Sunday in between), and I still have my voice. But If I stay quiet for five days, I lose my voice. My vocal cords had been so stretched and conditioned that a vacation would cause me to lose my voice. Then, I must do many voicing preparations to restore my speaking voice. Imagine all the hassle of having a vacation. This is how my mind works.

There can be many more reasons why leaders need to learn how to handle vacations. But we need to ask ourselves: “Who are we when we are fully rested?” It is a question that is difficult to answer. The last time we were fully rested was still in our diapers.

One day, I had an “accidental vacation.” I had a cancellation of engagements in another country. It could not push through because our visa processing was delayed. I can’t blame the travel agency because rules and regulations keep changing, especially after the pandemic.

So we (meaning The Ilocana, my daughter boss Rachel, and I) had to spend five days in a lovely country without work. I had enough time off that I was able to sleep and rest and enjoy their company without having to talk about work. I deliberately ate well, exercised, and napped as often as needed until I was fully relaxed and rested. Five days is not enough, but it opened my eyes to the benefits of vacationing.

Returning after that brief respite, I felt different and became more creative, and it all worked out well.

Meanwhile, invitations are coming in. Events and conferences are being planned. But I will have to mark the days off as they will be for a longer vacation. I am sure this will make Dr. Mark happy.

Francis Kong’s podcast “Inspiring Excellence” is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms.