Noah’s Ark 2.0

In the year 2019, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the Philippines and said: “Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.” “Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans.”

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:

“You have six months to build the Ark before I start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.”

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard – but no Ark.

“Noah!” He roared, “I’m about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?”

“Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah, “but things have changed.”

“I needed a Building Permit.”

“I’ve been arguing with the Boat Inspector about the need for a sprinkler system.”

“My homeowner’s association claim that I’ve violated the Neighborhood by-laws by building the Ark in my backyard and exceeding the height limitations. We had to go to the local Planning Committee for a decision.”

“Then the local city council and the electricity company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear none of it.”

“Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees to save the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.” “I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!”

“When I started gathering the animals, the society against cruelty to animals took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.”

“Then the environmental agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study on Your proposed flood.”

“I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the human rights commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew.”

“The labor agency insists that I should only use full-time regular employees. I argue that this would only be a one-time project, but they would not listen.”

“The Immigration Department is checking the visa status of most of the people who want to work.” “The labor unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only union workers with ark-building experience.”

“To make matters worse, the tax people seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.”

“So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish this ark.”

“Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.”

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world?”

“No,” said the Lord. “The Government beat me to it.”

This is an old article from an unknown source I have kept for years and put a little twist into it.

My businessman son said, “Dad, all these talks about encouraging and building employment are mere rhetoric when the local government makes it so difficult for me to get a business permit and operate my business.” He refuses to “facilitate” the process as this is counter to our family values, and I admire him for adhering to it. But imagine the frustration of the business community in general and foreign investors in particular when it comes to situations like these.

But there is a glimmer of hope. I was doing training in one of the hotels in Manila, and the bigger ballroom had another function and was well attended. I looked at the signs, and it says that the conference was organized by people who are seriously into the business of cutting red tapes and promoting “Ease of doing business.” There are young local government executives who are now cleaning and clearing the streets. They want to make doing business easy in their cities.

One former mayor (one of the best we had) once told me that the legendary Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore told her a simple but powerful principle for governance. And He said, “Madame Mayor. As long as there is a queue, there will always be corruption.” The magic words for progress are “Ease of doing things.” “Simplify.” “Transparency.”  “Efficiency.” “Honesty.” “Integrity.” I think it would not be long when we begin to see a rainbow in the sky. I am really hoping for this hope.

(Connect with Francis Kong in www.facebook.com/franciskong2 or listen to “Business Matters” Monday to Friday 8:00a.m. and 6:30 p.m. over 98.7 dzFE-FM ‘The Master’s Touch’, the classical music station.)