Pride is insidious

Having just moved into his new office, a proud, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, “Yes, General, I’ll be seeing him this afternoon, and I’ll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir.” Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, “What do you want?” “Nothing important, sir,” the airman replied, “just here to hook up your telephone.”

Pride can make the proud person ridiculous at times, perhaps most of the time.

I have had different experiences with clients. During the start of my speaking and training career, clients book me to speak offsite and get me economy tickets as budget fares were still unheard of during those days. Hotels came in different sizes and forms.

The big companies would book me in five-star hotels, while medium-sized companies and many faith-based organizations would book me in three-star or sometimes even two-star hotels. One event, I was in a room with another speaker, and I will never forget that we looked at each other and laughed because there were many creepy creeping creatures in the room. We did not have much sleep that night and despite client’s instructions for me to order room service and charge it to their account I refused. I paid for my own and I did not complain. An organizer was perplexed at my behavior and in a relaxed moment blurted out her disgust with another speaker who did not only request for another two-day extension stay in the hotel but charged his food, drinks, laundry including the game of golf he played with a friend. Maybe this is why she could not understand my behavior.

I need to be careful. Pride is insidious, And it creeps up on you invited and unnoticed. Now that I have had a considerable amount of success in speaking and training and has earned the respect of clients in different industries there is the constant pull of becoming accustomed to status and rank, and, worse, I might ever feel like I was owed. The problem with success (even a small bit of it) is that you get addicted to all the trappings. And pride will convince you that you are entitled to it all.

Pride is a raging beast and needs to be killed and conquered. The weapon of choice is humility, and only this weapon can get you out of what pride you into. So the question is, how do you work on being “humble” so that you can kill pride and ego?

One possibility is to cultivate humility as a discipline. To constantly remind the self to refuse to be given special treatment intentionally. Carry the luggage, the bag myself. To be respectful with even the company drivers assigned to pick me up from the airport. Smile and greet everyone you meet. This is not saint-like meekness at all it is but practical. People are sizing you up all the time. And long before you can deliver a message, you the person is the messenger, and the message itself and people want to see the real thing before they hear what you have to say.

The second solution is to learn humility through humiliation, not by conscious choice or self-flagellation but humbled because of outside circumstances or by other people. Being fired from a job, declaring bankruptcy or even some petty things like spilling your coffee over your immaculate white shirt and you need to meet an important client. You did not choose to be humiliated, but you experienced being humbled. However, this option may not make us learn the lesson because we quickly brush it off as a temporary embarrassment and recover from it.

The third option could be the most viable option, which is to learn the ways of successful but humble people. Emulate them. Truth is many of the real and authentic wealthy and successful people I know are humble. Unlike the many who are just starting in their career and have not made a mark, strut around like over-sized peacocks exhibit prima-donna behavior while the genuinely successful people intentionally stay low key. They are respectful and are not showboats.

After years of speaking and training, the regular clients brand me humble but do not know the internal struggle that wage war inside me. One part says, “Francis, you deserve better. Your clients know that with your present “stature” you should be provided Business Class accommodations and hotel suite upgrade.” See how insidious pride can be? But I intentionally remind myself that I do not deserve all these, and God is gracious.

Some people may even mistake humility as a weakness, while others have accused me of being naive in not taking advantage of the situation. But these bozos do not get it because to give the impression that I am “taking advantage” is what I want to avoid.

Humility does not look attractive to many. Pride is more appealing. But consider the fact that we all love and admire the humble and we despise the proud. So why should we allow it to rule over us? Pride and ego are not success strategies. In fact, Scriptures do say that before destruction happens, pride and a haughty spirit comes before it.

Meanwhile, I now have repeat clients who are kind and insistent they book me business class accommodations and a nice upgraded hotel room. I still do the same thing. I do not complain because there are no longer creepy creeping creatures around that would keep me awake at night. And this is why I do not complain.

(Attend POWER UP! WORLD OF CX as international speaker Krish Dhanam together with industry experts and practitioners AJ Rocero, Ralph Layosa, Josh Supan and Francis Kong share winning ideas on delivering Excellent Customer Service in the digital economy. Happening on Oct. 2 from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. at Samsung Hall SM Aura BGC. For registration or inquiries contact April at 0928-559-1798; CJ at 0917-629-9401 or register online at www.powerup.ph)