Do you really want it?

I have always admired those men with chiseled abs shown on billboards and commercials. If they can do it then so can I but there is just one problem. If you have seen billboard ads featuring a “Before” and “After” look; I would surely belong to the “Before” category, and no matter how frequent I imagine myself to have chiseled abs overtime I still stay in the “Before” category. But it's not wrong is it?

And so I spent money buying all those contraptions infomercials featured “Just 15 minutes a day...” or “Show those abs in just three months...” For the next 2 weeks, I followed directions and instructions shown on the video that came with the equipment. By the third week, the equipment was left in one corner of the house. And I did not touch it again.

Incidents like these did not happen to me just once or twice but many times and it was not just about having abs but also about trying different things. I did piano and cooking in my youth but it did not work out. I burnt the food and the pots.

I realized later that my “fantasized reality never came into fruition because the things I desired involved more of the finished picture.” Those chiseled abs, the concert pianist, the culinary expert were pictures and photos of what they show you in infomercials and billboards and they all involved the finished product. What they do not show is that in order to get to the finished product; you and I need to go through two things in order to get there. And these two things are pain and process. Any visualized picture I painted in my mind remains a fantasy if I was not willing to go through the pain and the process of achieving it. Therefore the conclusion becomes simple; I did not want it! I may have wanted the result and the finished product, but I was not willing to go through the pain of the process of building myself into it. Had I wanted it bad enough as if my life depended on it then I would not have given up at the slightest sign of difficulty.

If you find yourself in the same situation, then I would like to encourage you. Your case may be branded as having given up on your dreams; that you are a quitter and you have failed. I wish life were as simple as a cliché but it isn't. Consider the fact that perhaps the thing that you "gave up" was something you thought you wanted but turns out that you did not. I cannot imagine myself to be a concert pianist today, I still cannot cook, and my timing is lousy even in boiling an egg. The things I thought I wanted, I did not.

Today, I  spend endless hours a day working, speaking, training, preparing lessons, writing a new book, posting stuff in my various digital platform, doing research, attending conferences, traveling from place to place doing some 300 plus talks in a year for the last ten years and how could I have done all these? Because I want it! I am willing to go through the pain and the process knowing that this is needed before I get to the finished product. So the more I enjoy the results, the more motivated I am in doing more of it.

Many people want the results, but they do not want the pain and process. Since they do not want what they wanted terrible enough, the slightest sense of difficulty and hardship prompts them to give up and quit. We always ask the question of how come business tycoons and taipans work restlessly and are so successful in what they do? Ever considered the fact that it is because they wanted it?

“We are defined by what we are willing to struggle for," says book author Mark Manson. He also says: “Many people want to reach the mountain peak without wanting to climb. So what are they thinking? Ride a chopper and bring you there? You start with drills, drills are boring. You start with lectures, lectures can send your mind wandering. You strengthen the fundamentals, and fundamentals are both boring and will make your mind wander. But that is the process of growth, and it entails pain.”

These are people who want what they want, and they want it bad enough that they are willing to go through the pain and the process. The guys with chiseled abs enjoy the struggles and the pain of work done in a gym. Manson says “People who enjoy long work weeks and the politics of the corporate ladder are the ones who fly to the top of it. People who enjoy the stresses and uncertainties of the starving artist lifestyle are ultimately the ones who live it and make it. This is not about willpower or grit. This is not another admonishment of “no pain, no gain.” This is the most simple and basic component of life: our struggles determine our successes.”

I don’t have chiseled abs today, but I do want to be healthy even without the abs. The first one I may not want bad enough to go through the “burn” and the “pain” of countless situps and exercises, but the second one I do, and this is why I have been careful with regular exercise, careful eating, taking in supplements and getting enough sleep and have maintained this lifestyle for many years.

Be honest now. That thing you want? The business success, the promotions, the honors, the dignity, and the respect etc... do you really... really... want it bad enough?

(Attend two inspiring days of leadership training. Level Up Leadership will happen on July 17 and 18 at Seda Hotel, BGC. For advanced registration specifically for group rates or other inquiries contact April at +63928-559-1798 or register online at www.levelupleadership.ph)