A lesson from a taekwondo master

I’d like to express my sincerest gratitude and appreciation to the 8th PMAP Makatao Awards for granting this column the award for Media Excellence – Best Columnist (Newspaper) last Nov. 28 given at the Sofitel Hotel. Thank you for your kindness and graciousness.

My brother-in-law Felix introduced me to Master Henry Cruz of Manila Taekwondo in Union City, California a couple of years ago. He was instrumental in training my nephew Joseph into a medalist in many international competitions. The first time I met him, I was fascinated. He addressed his class and said: “The person who will succeed in life is the person who will make the least mistakes in life.” What a powerful line it was. This simple line got me thinking because it applies not only to winning Taekwondo competitions but is applicable to business, career, relationships and even life itself.

The question here is how does a person make the least mistakes in life?

Some speakers will mouth clichés and tell you, “You need to fail more often.” “Fail forward.” “The more you fail, the more you succeed!” While there is a semblance of truth to these statements, I would sometimes consider them as impractical and silly.  Failure can be overrated and thanks to all the writers, bloggers and speakers who deliver the lines without understanding context; no one goes into business saying, “I hope to commit more mistakes and experience more failures so that I would be more successful” Duh!  Some failures are not recoverable. Yes, you’ll be learning lessons but the career, business or relationship could not be recovered.

Master Henry Cruz does not mean that the least number of mistakes can be achieved through risk aversion—by “playing it safe.” Remember that he was addressing a class of taekwondo-jins preparing them for battle. What Master Cruz says is that the least mistakes can be avoided when the serious student listens attentively to the teachings of the master and would put them into practice.

We are not short on teachings. There were people in our lives that have been giving us instructions: parents, teachers, professors. As we mature in life and enter employment or build careers, these people fade out of the picture and a new batch of people enter. These are the supervisors, team leads, managers, bosses and business owners. But the lessons they teach are inadequate. They give instructions on meeting business objectives or achieving professional goals and not much more apart from these. For example, I have had both corporate and business experiences yet I never had a manager who would tutor me on how to manage and invest my money. Many of my former managers struggled with money issues themselves. Nobody trained me on how to do parenting or how to be a better husband and improve my marital relationship. Many of my colleagues had relationship problems with their marriages and family. I had to learn lessons through trial and error. Many did too, and many errors have caused trials and some could not even recover from them. 

Life was easier then. Today, we just do not have the time and space to commit our futures to learning lessons through trial and error. Learning has to be intentional. They come in different forms that are readily available but only if we would take the initiative to explore and use them:

1. Books

Read good books. Speaker Charlie “Tremendous” Jones said, “Five years from now, you will exactly be the same person you are today apart from two things: the friends you meet and the books you read.” Reading good books does not only teach us the success formula of winners, but they teach us in advance the mistakes committed by others that we can avoid. Failure does not bring you forward; its only direction is south and downwards.

2. Experiences

We need to observe and absorb. Many people have had past experiences before but never absorbed the lessons. They merely observed and then forget, only to repeat the mistake. This could be fatal in terms or business or career and most specially in relationships.

3. Wise counsel

The Scriptures say: “In the multitude of counsellors, there is wisdom.” Make sure you ask advice from wise, mature and experienced people. Never seek the counsel of losers with a track record of failed experiences. You will end up as one.

4. Learning events

There was a time when I became a seminar-junkie. I would attend seminars given by creative speakers who would make me laugh, entertain me and well, that’s about it… they made me laugh and provided me with entertainment but not enough life-changing lessons that would make me better. Social media has created many pseudo-gurus that are offering lessons they probably pick up from the works or books of other people. Attend learning events delivered by people who are subject matter experts and with a track record of genuine and not “marketing fabricated” wins in both life and business.

5. Feedback

Be willing to be corrected and accept criticism from people who are honest with you and those who care enough to want you to succeed.

Master Cruz was right, and thank you for the lesson. The person who makes the least mistakes would win. Oscar Wilde says: “Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.” And believe me, experience is not the best teacher; only evaluated ones are. All these would not guarantee that life would be “mistake-free,” but they certainly place us in a better position to win.

(Mark your calendars on Jan. 25, 2019 for the much-awaited event “Power Up for Peak Performance!” It will be happening at the Samsung Hall, SM Aura, BGC. This whole-day event featuring a power-packed cast of fantastic speakers will take place from 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. For further inquiries or advanced reservations, contact April at +63928-559-1798 or register online at www.powerup.ph)