Sometimes, ordinary things require an extraordinary amount of effort just to decide and do. Take having lunch for example; it is always excruciating for me to choose where we would be having it. The Ilocana and I are not very picky with food, and we are so corny when it comes to restaurants. We go to a place and when we love the food, we would keep on going back to the same place and, more often than not, order the same food day in day out. When we go to another place and did not like the food or the service, we would never set our foot back to that place even though they might have renovated, changed ownership, or experience a “new birth” in terms of business and service. I guess we are just so “routined” to a fault. It saves time than having to mull, ponder, contemplate, and to just go through the laborious process of thinking where to go and what to eat.
Now, I will give you a scenario. Suppose you and I are friends and we agreed to have lunch. I will now say, “You know what? I have been craving for Japanese food all week.” What if your reply is that you have been wanting to have Chinese food, and so a small friendly argument might ensue until such time as one will relent, both of us reach an agreement, or perhaps a compromise would be made? “Ok we will have Chinese this time but next time it will have to be Japanese.” The process is not too complicated, and the friendship and trust are preserved.
I will give you a different scenario. We’re having lunch together. We are going to have the same argument over what food to have. But this time, I am armed and am casually waving a loaded gun in your direction while arguing about my preference for the food I want. Guess what you would do? Unless you are waving a loaded gun yourself my suspicion is that you would simply say, “Ah okay”. You will certainly lose your will to argue because your life is more valuable to you than the menu you will have to choose, and my loaded gun and I may have won this time, but I certainly doubt if you would still want to be my lunch partner the next time, even if I offer to pick up the tab. The meaning of it would never be the same.
The loaded gun is a threat to your survival, and your quick assessment of the situation would surely indicate that your life certainly is worth a lot more than your preference for Chinese food. Although you do not like to eat raw fish, you just might force yourself to do it because of the extra pressure.
Do you know that leaders, by virtue of their positions of authority, are always armed with a loaded gun? When one’s job or career is on the line, he or she will immediately rush into a risk-assessment mode to determine whether dissent is worth it or not.
When the leader says, “It’s either my way or the highway,” that leader has cocked the guy and ready to fire.
When the leader says, “That’s such a stupid idea.”, the leader has fired and hit the target. The wounds may be deep or skin-deep but the wounds would certainly be there.
When the leader says, “I did not pay you to think. Just do what I say.”, the leader has fired the gun and effectively quieted the person(s), and I am sure there will never be any dissenting opinions, but neither would there be an offer of creative ideas either.
When the leader says: “If I need your opinion I will give it to you…” or even something as seemingly harmless as “I need it yesterday!”, the leader has fired the loaded gun and all the investments in “Employee Engagement Trainings” or “Motivational Talks” would have gone to waste.
Do you know why leaders with loaded gun fire away? Most oftentimes, they shoot first and ask questions later, and is a defensive act when perceived to be threatened and that the ego and the position is challenged.
Leaders should put their guns away. Allow people to have the freedom to express their ideas and display their creativity. Do not willfully or unwilfully train your people to refrain from sharing uncomfortable thoughts, and then quietly acquiesce and let you have your way. This atmosphere dampens creativity and destroys morale.
Leaders have the power, which is certainly a loaded gun, and they should wield it responsibly. If not, then no matter how many times you will say, “If you have problems, feel free to come to me…”, they will never do so unless they see you back up your words with your actions…consistently!
Do not power up every time you perceive a threat or a challenge. Power plays, oftentimes, are not obvious but they come in subtle hints of your position or importance in your organization. Provide a safe space for your people to tell you things. Even things that you do not like to hear. Follow through after hearing them. Praise them for their honesty and appreciate their efforts. This is the way you earn their trust. And when trust is there, you will be surprised at how much more you can collectively. Therefore, everybody ends up being winners, without anybody getting shot.
(Attend two inspiring days of leadership training with Francis Kong in his highly acclaimed Level Up Leadership seminar-workshop this Sept. 18-19 at Makati Diamond Residences near Greenbelt 1. For registration or inquiries, contact April at +63928-559-1798 or register online at www.levelupleadership.ph)