For better or for worst?

One time a girl innocently said: “My pastor said we could have 16 husbands.

The Second girl was shocked and said: “Are you sure about that?”

The first girl said: “Why, yes. At the last wedding at the church I heard him say, “Four better, four worse, four richer, and four poorer! Add all those four’s together and you can get 16!”

What a wrong perspective.

In reality, many struggle in their marital relationships, a great number of people are not happy with it, but there are still a lot who are actually enjoying their relationship and are celebrating the fruit of it.

Somebody says: All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterwards that causes all the trouble.

Here is another story.

A couple was having a discussion about family finances.

Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” His wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money, *I* wouldn’t be here.”

What a sad tale.

A very elderly woman showed up at St. Peter’s desk in front of the Pearly Gates.

(You have to know of course that this is just a story and is theologically challenged).

“Elizabeth,” St. Peter said. “If you can pass a simple spelling test, you can enter heaven. Just spell the word, love.”

“L-O-V-E,” the woman said.

“That’s right, welcome to heaven.”

A few weeks later, St. Peter called Elizabeth and asked if she would take over his desk at the Pearly Gates while he was off on business. She said she would. Who showed up first, but her husband, Henry, desiring entry into heaven.

“You know Elizabeth, I didn’t really expect to make it this close to Heaven, the kind of foolishness as I pulled on earth. I have not been faithful to you because I have fooled around with so many women while we were on planet earth.”

Henry said. “Dear Elizabeth, in our 50 years together you took care of me when I was sick, sobered me up when I had one too many and was always so forgiving. Now we can be together for eternity.”

“Yes dear, if you pass a simple spelling test, we can be together for eternity,” she replied. “Just spell Czechoslovakia.” Oh…oh…!

But, let me be clear. It is not true that most marriages end up badly. The marital breakdowns of well-known celebrities and personalities do not reflect the entire thing. As a matter of fact, there are far more successful marriages. It is just that good news do not sell very well, which is why they seldom make the headlines.

Just like everything else in life though, be it in sports, business, or profession, there is a need to know how to manage it well and build it to a better one over time.

I spoke at a retreat for graduating high school students.

There was an icebreaker wherein the facilitator asked the kids to talk about both their biggest success and biggest failure in life.

Guess what I found out?

Many kids feel they failed in life because their parents broke up. They seem to blame themselves for what happened to their parents.

If only parents would know how selfish they could be and that every time their marriages fall apart, it’s the children that get hurt in the process.

Do you want to have a winning recipe for a successful marriage?

There are many different versions of this popular recipe. I got this one from the Internet credited to anonymity, but you might enjoy this:

Start with two stable people, one pound of love and a gallon of commitment. Then add one cup each of: trust; communication, respect, and patience. Mix well and remove any traces of temper, selfishness, and criticism.

Now add three tablespoons of pure extract of sincere apology, one cup of cooperation, one cup of encouragement, and one cup of consideration.

Place in a home. Make sure to allow room for children and pets.

Season lightly with a dash of in-laws.

Sweeten with memories, shared activities, laughter, and tokens of affection.

Serve with faith and devotion, and enjoy!

It takes two whole persons to make a good marriage. And a person can only be whole when that relationship is submitted to God’s perspective and promise as what was vowed during the wedding ceremony and should not be forgotten.

Protect your marriage and don’t just expect your marriage to work. Work on your marriage. It’s one of the most satisfying things that we could ever experience here on planet earth.

And if you don’t take care of your marriage, may I suggest you start learning how to spell the word ‘‘Czechoslovakia.”

(Enjoy an evening of fun, music and laughter as Joe Mari Chan, Richard Poon and Francis Kong present great music, laughter and words of encouragement on love, life and relationship this Jan. 29 at the Fairmont Hotel entitled: My FUNny Valentine.