Confidence and competence

Driving down the highway, a man saw this slogan on the back of a well-known trucking company’s vehicle: We Always Go The Extra Mile.

But below that sign is another: That’s Because We Missed The Last Exit.

Funny? Yes. But if taken literally, the second signage indicates ineffectiveness.

Here is another story widely circulating the Internet.

An elderly gentleman was telling his friend about his new hearing aid. He said, “This hearing aid is so good that I can hear a pin drop to the floor 60 feet away.”

The friend said, “What kind is it?”

The old man looked at his watch and said, “It’s two-thirty.”

Looks like the hearing aid is not able to deliver the competence it promised.

Now, let’s come closer to home.

These statements are attempts to build up courage and confidence.

“If I want to be, then it’s up to me!” shouts an enchanted and highly fired up participant in a “motivational” seminar. Parents tell their kids, “You can be anything or anyone you want to be.”

I never told my kids they can be anything or anyone they want to be. What if my son wants to be a professional basketball player in the NBA? I don’t think his height qualifies.

What if my daughters want to be rock stars in the music scene? I don’t think their vocal ranges would make them qualify for their dreams.

Courage is built and so is confidence, but does that mean the person is able to do what he or she wants to do?

I posted this message on my Facebook page and I got so many feedback:

“You say you can do it, that’s confidence. You did it well, that is competence. The two aren’t the same. Many people are good with the first one, but sadly lacking with the second one. They do not get the results they want. That is why you should build your competence first, and then your confidence will increase.”

So, how does that sound?

This is why optimism should be mixed with realism.

It’s not exactly a good thing for parents to overpraise their kids. You see, a kid might be injected with an unrealistic dosage of confidence. The kid goes to school and then comes back feeling disappointed because his teachers think otherwise.

The confidence is present, but the competence is just not there. It would be better to compliment the kid for the effort and say, “Wow! I admire the way you put your heart into your work.”

It is good to read self-help books. It is not bad to attend “motivational” seminars and be pumped up. But no one can achieve success and excellence until competence is firmly built, and this takes a lot of hard work.

“Motivational” events are exciting. The speakers tickle the ears of the paying participants. They make the participants feel good, but this strategy does not build up or create confidence.

Self-improvement, working hard and developing the discipline may be boring, but these are the activities that increase competence. And when skills are continuously being polished, confidence increases.

I always encourage my event organizers to refrain from introducing me as a “motivational” speaker because I truly am not. I educate, train and inspire people with tools they can use to build their competences and achieve excellence.

My business is not to pump up participants with emotions that subside once the event is over. My mission is to challenge the intellect and equip the participants with the means to improve their current state so that they can achieve success and excellence on their own.

Confidence is not the same as competence. Build up your competence and confidence will follow.

(You can connect with Francis Kong through Facebook at www.facebook.com/franciskong2 or listen to his program called “Business Matters” from Monday to Friday at 8 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. in 98.7 dzFE-FM ‘The Master’s Touch’, the classical music station.)