We compare ourselves to others all the time. This is a reality of life.
And also, we live in a culture of performance.
You have to be a graduate from a colorful school – preferably blue, green or maroon. You need to have the right car, the right job, and a high-income producing husband or a trophy wife.
All these produce pressures that are either virtual or real.
THERE ARE REALITY PRESSURES AND VIRTUAL PRESSURES:
The Pressure to Comply – This is a Reality Pressure.
The Pressure to Conform – This is 50 percent Reality Pressure and 50 percent Virtual Pressure.
The Pressure to Compare – This is 100 percent Virtual Pressure.
Let’s have an example.
Suppose you set “standards” for your children’s education. The pressure comes when you want your children to perform within these standards. If they failed, you will never be able to bear the thought. And so you make sure you get the best tutor to make the kids produce the “right” grades so that you can maintain your standard.
Pressure! And the pursuit continues.
Whenever I stand in front of high-powered people, I ask them this question: “are you pursuing something right now?”
But the answer I always get is the look of confusion as if they are listening to a senseless question from an ignoramus speaker.
They are in constant quest to pursue just for pursuit’s sake. It may not make sense to us, but it certainly drives the powerful and the wealthy; this fuels their energy.
Perhaps, they are not in pursuit of more wealth, but they certainly are in pursuit for more of something.
What delights you will direct you and what you pursue will possess you. This is a fact of life.
Every person goes through three stages:
The first stage is the survival stage. This is the time after you graduated from school and about to start your first job. The second stage is the success stage. This is when you build your competencies and name. This stage makes the difference between being a true success or a meaningless failure. The third stage is the significance stage. The gap that exists between success and significance is purpose.
Leaders can achieve success without having purpose.
On the other hand, it is extremely difficult to achieve significance.
Take a look around you. Most people use competence, connection and experience to acquire stuff, satisfy their personal desire and attain success.
Compare this to leaders who use knowledge, resource and experience to serve and benefit others. Significance is purpose driven by personal values. Significance is anchored to the realization that life has finality and that we have been created by God to fulfill a purpose larger than ourselves.
Pursuit leads to attainment. You can either attain more stuff and recognition or you can attain more influence using your talent, treasure and time to make the world a better place.
Don’t pursue stuff; you can’t take them with you. Pursue significance and be of service. What you pursue will possess you. What delights you will drive and direct you.
I pursue Christ and this gives me a purpose of wanting to serve those who would allow me. This brought a fantastic amount of meaning to my life.
The greatest joy of my life is seeing all my kids already set out to pursue significance.
And so we need to focus ourselves on doing things that matter.
(Spend two life-transforming days with Francis Kong learning leadership and life skills as he present Level Up Leadership on November 18-19 at EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries, contact Inspire at 09158055910 or call 632-6310912 for details.)