Dislike but respect

Remember the words you used to say when you were in school?

“I hate my teacher. She’s from hell.”

“I hate my prof. He’s a terror.”

Today, when we think about it, we disliked them, because they made us work the hardest; but we learned the most from them, didn’t we?

The secret is that we were forced to respect them though we never liked them.

Bring this principle to the work place.

“I hate my boss. He’s a jerk.”

“I hate my manager. She’s from hell.” Rather than ranting all the time, why not learn from them? There must be some things they have that we still do not, that made them leaders. 

Maybe we don’t like their style. Maybe we hate their hairdo or the lack of it. Maybe their language is brash and rude, but the reason they are leaders is because they have worked themselves to that position. And it is best for us to learn the things they have that we still have not.

I have been demeaned, offended, bullied, and made to feel insignificant by senior bosses when I started work in the corporate space. These were the bosses whose favorite line was, “Rule number one: The boss is always right. Rule number two: In case of doubt, refer to rule number one.”

These were the days when the big bosses said, “It’s either my way or the highway!”

We were mere mortals called “rank and file,” and we cowered in fear. We obeyed the bosses not because we liked them, but because we feared them.They called us subordinates, a term that I refrain from using today. Sub means below. Ordinate probably means ordinary, so you combine the two words together and we were classified below the ordinary! (just kidding!)

The word motivation was virtually non-existent. We were at the mercy of bosses who favored sub-ordinates they personally liked, and promotions were not based on performance but on their whims and fancies. 

Remember your very first employment? How can anyone forget? Eyes wide with wonder. All dressed up with the best work clothes our limited budget could buy. I remember going to work bringing my briefcase with nothing but my lunch box inside. Every highly-paid executive in our organization carried a briefcase, and I wanted to look like an executive.

Those were the days when power play was the rule of the game, and words like motivation and inspiration were non-existent. Other bosses were no different. They bullied the new hires; they flirted with the pretty ones; and they insulted those they did not like.

I was not alone. New hires like me would share horror stories and compare notes about the monsters we reported to. Then we would make jokes and assign nicknames to each of them. Perhaps that was our coping mechanism at work. It was traumatic, but we bore it all.

I cannot explain the science behind this, but until today I can still remember the faces of the bosses who made life difficult for me when I was starting my corporate life.

We lived in constant fear of losing our jobs. We were forced to respect them though we never liked them. The result? We learned from them. The sad part was that many of us who were promoted into higher positions began doing the same horrible things to fresh graduates and new hires.

Things are different today. We have 360-degree feedback. We have exit interviews. Progressive companies conduct leadership trainings, and their executives are required to go through them. Things have greatly improved.

Granted there are still bosses who behave like jerks, but rather than ranting all the time, why not learn from them and make a promise that when you get promoted, you will not behave the way they do?

Brush up on your leadership skills. Be inspiring and bring out the best in your people. Life is short, and some days are long, but an inspiring leader makes all the challenges of life worthwhile.

(Mark your calendar. Francis will team up with famous speaker and author Krish Dhanam on May 15 in a whole day seminar entitled “Achieving Peak Performance” at EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries contact Inspire at 09158055910 or call 632-6310912 for details.)