Commitment and feelings

There are bad-hair days, and there are days when you feel like you’re on top of the world. Truth be told, most of the days are neither bad nor on top. Most days are usually ordinary and cyclical.

You attend my seminars. You get fired up, and you realize that there’s great benefit in being committed 100 percent to excellence. But then you start losing the feeling. Guess what? I have those days too. The temptation to just lie down and do nothing is strong, and there were times that I’ve succumbed to it.

I remember a time in my life when I was just winging it. Because the place where I lived was near my factory, I’d go home, have lunch and then give in to the lure of my favorite piece of furniture – my lazy chair. An afternoon nap was just so enticing. I got to a point where I’d go to work in anticipation for my siesta. Much time was wasted simply because I wasn’t committed to my work and my personal growth.

Now that I’m a little older and wiser, I’ve realized one crucial life-changing fact: commitment isn’t a feeling – it’s a decision. Commitment is an act of the will. It doesn’t deal with fleeting emotions. A commitment is a promise or a pledge. Every legal contract is a commitment. Every promise you make to the loan shark and the Mafiosi is a commitment. I can make a commitment to others and even to myself. Either way, the basic principle is this: we should stick to our commitment and deliver.

Years ago, I had a popular business person approach me informing me that he was leaving his wife of many years. I asked why, and he replied with a sad look on his face, “I have fallen out of love with her.”

Those words sounded poetic. The only thing lacking was violin music in the background. I looked at him and must’ve shocked him when I said, “You’re a liar aren’t you?” You have to understand that I have a flair for the dramatic. “Why did you say that?” he asked. I explained, “You don’t fall in love with your wife or fall out of love with your wife. You either stay committed to your wife or you don’t.” He remained silent as I continued with greater fervor, “You don’t go to your bank manager and tell her, ‘I’m sorry, but I have fallen out of the feeling of paying back my loan…’ You’ll have a legal problem, because your loan arrangement is a legal transaction. The day you said ‘I do’ was also the day you signed that legal document, and you can’t turn your back on the truth that marriage is a legal transaction as well. And rather than thinking about what you’ve lost, would you not consider what your children will lose too?”

Well, some stories have happy endings, and I’m glad to say that it has been almost 10 years now since that businessman decided to stick to his commitment and work out the rough spots in his marriage. Presently, he and his wife are a picture of a happy and romantic couple serving in church together and even helping younger couples who are going through similar marriage rough spots.

Relationships sour. Conflicts happen. But you and I should work on them and through them. We should stick to our commitment. Some work may be boring, and sometimes our work isn’t appreciated. But we stick to our commitment to excellence – this is what separates the amateurs from the professionals.

Commit yourself to excellence. Master your moods and emotions. Make a pledge to reinvent yourself and level up every day. Commit to serve and to create value for others.

Guess what will happen? Then the great feelings and the romance in the relationship will come. This is a guarantee.

(Leadership skills are life skills. Spend two whole days with Francis Kong discovering the beauty of both on Sept. 12-13 at the EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries, contact Inspire at 09158055910, or call 632-6310912 for details.)