Disagreement is good

Let’s talk about communications.

Whether in the boardroom or the conference room, it’s advisable to debate on things before arriving at a consensus. Because when a consensus is reached, the people concerned become duty-bound to uphold it, even if they disagree with it or feel like engaging in a little Brazilian jujitsu because of it.

Debates and disagreements on opinions are good. These bring out the best ideas and insights of people. These give people a chance to air out their thoughts and feelings about a subject matter. When people refuse to engage in debates and just keep quiet, they waive their right to express their opinion.

The Japanese agree by heartily nodding their head and saying, “Hai! Hai!” But when they don’t agree, they will nod their head, say “Hai! Hai!” but after making a sucking sound through their teeth, and then slowly shake their head.

Disagreement is good. If people are not weighing in on the topic and the debate, they will not arrive at a committed decision.

I’ve been in meetings where the top dog does all the speaking, and the dogs next in line do all the nodding. These next-in-line dogs don’t think; their job is to make the top dog think he’s perfect. This is how cults are formed and how dictators are made – by producing mindless and thoughtless followers.

Here’s another thing to remember (This one floored me with a heavyweight boxer’s left hook during a seminar conducted by popular author Patrick Lenceoni): Great relationships always involve people who can passionately disagree with one another. Lenceoni talked about an encounter with a divorcee. The divorcee told him, “Patrick, I always thought that you and your wife Laura had a bad relationship because you constantly argue. After the divorce, I just realized that my wife and I had a bad relationship because we could not disagree!!!”

Disagree and commit!

People need to know that they are heart and mind combined. They have to give their input!

Another nugget about communications: Leaders in organizations need to over-communicate clearly. Attention span is a constant struggle today for people who are multi-tasking in an information-overloaded world, thus the need to over-communicate. Also, research says that people need to hear the same message at least seven times in order to remember it. This is why leaders ought to repeat themselves constantly, constantly, constantly, constantly… Ooops, sorry! That was just four. So constantly, constantly, constantly!

What’s the best way to communicate within an organization? The answer is… Tadah! – Rumors! So be prepared to spread GOOD rumors, and tell people NOT to tell anybody! (wink, wink! J)

The message may be important, but make sure also that the messenger is trustworthy, and that the communications vehicle is reliable. This is the essence of effective communications.

(I’d love to hear from you! Click on to www.franciskong.com to send me your feedback. You can also listen to my radio program “Business Matters” aired at 8:00 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. during weekdays over 98.7 dzFE-FM “The Master’s Touch”, the classical music station.)