Improving on the serenity prayer

Speakers have quoted it. It’s been made into a poster and also a bookmark. It’s really nice and cute.

I am referring to “The Serenity Prayer”. I’m sure you’ve read, maybe even uttered, the words yourself at least once:

“Dear Lord,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Fighting jetlag, waking up at two o’clock in the morning alone in a New York hotel, I picked up the book Influencer and browsed through it. I was surprised to read authors Kerry Patterson and Joseph Grenny challenge “THE Serenity Prayer”.

They called it “The Serenity Trap”. The authors claimed that this trap can somehow creep in on us as well.

We’ve come to believe that when we undertake challenges that can only be hurdled through intractable behavior and then fail, we should just “muster enough courage” from God to accept the failure and divert our attention to things we can control, all because we want serenity.

But when exactly do we quit, give up and declare that a challenge is beyond our control?

Any and every work that really matter call for people of great persistence and resolve who go to great lengths to overcome challenges and achieve their goals. This is true when it comes to winning that basketball championship though undermanned and underrated, or hitting the stretch goals even when market forces seem to be against it.

I’ve been privileged to speak with winners and achievers in this country, and the truth is I rarely see them chanting “The Serenity Prayer” as a guiding motivation for their activities for the day. I do however find that most of them do believe that there’s a Hand of Destiny upon their lives, and so they go all out in accomplishing their tasks though they may be faced with odds.

Helen Keller says, “I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. What is that task that you will devote your entire life to? What is that task that consumes you?

While some people continually seek the wisdom to KNOW the difference between accepting things they can’t change and changing things they could, some people actually seek the wisdom to MAKE a difference. When it comes to changing the world, the authors claimed, what most of us lack is not the courage to change things, but the “SKILLS” to do so. I think they’re right.

I recently received a message from a young lad I will leave unnamed. In essence, he said that he used to have high grades, but he got distracted with a personal issue and eventually gave up his dream to graduate with honors. But then he attended a talk I gave, listened intently, and followed up on some of the skills I spoke about in my talk. He’s happy to tell me that he recently graduated valedictorian in his class. Good thing he didn’t “seek the courage to just accept things”, but he actually worked to acquire skills that will enable him to accomplish his goal.

Once a year I travel and embark on a study sabbatical. This year, I had to persuade the Ilocana to stay home since she was not yet fit for long travel. It could be lonely without the Ilocana with me, but I didn’t want to risk her health.

My yearly study sabbatical costs me a lot of money, but because it builds my skills, expands my knowledge and sharpens my mind, I do it, so I can bring back valuable learnings to our country, and share them with my clients and my audiences. I stick to this task (behavior) because I want to effect change in our country (outcome).

Henry Moore says, “The secret of life is to have a task. Something that you devote your entire life to, something to bring everything to, every minute of the day, for your whole life. And the important thing is, it must be something you can’t possibly do.” Then will I pray, “Apart from You I can do nothing!”

(Spend two whole days with Francis Kong developing your leadership skills this Oct. 25-26 at the EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries, contact Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. at 632-6872614 or 09178511115.)