Irreconcilable differences

June is not only the month when students go back to school. It’s also the month when most single ladies daydream of becoming a bride, a “June Bride”. This month alone, I’ve attended a couple of wedding receptions already. And so I thought I’d write something about marriage.

Let me tell you this story I picked up from the Internet: While waiting to register at a hotel, Polly overheard the couple ahead of her asking for a room with a king, queen or double bed. The clerk apologized and said that the only rooms available had twin beds. Disappointed, the man remarked, “I don’t know. We’ve been sharing the same bed for 44 years.” 

“Could you possibly put them close together?” the wife asked. 

Several people nearby smiled, and someone commented, “How romantic.” 

Then the woman finished her request with, “Because if he snores, I want to be able to punch him.”

There goes your romance.

Here’s another story: Sunday morning services were going very smoothly when suddenly a flash of light and smoke appeared in front of the pulpit, followed by a large “Boom!” When the smoke cleared, the astonished congregation saw a red figure complete with horns, pitchfork and tail.

Immediately, panic set in. People crowded through the doors, trampling each other in their rush to get away. Satan watched the retreat with great glee, but his mood was disturbed by the sight of one man still lounging comfortably in his pew.

“Do you not know who I am?”, Satan thundered.

The man’s reply was nonchalant, “Sure I do.”

Satan was puzzled. “Do you not fear me?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

The man snorted, “What for? I’ve been married to your sister for 35 years!”2

And while we’re on a roll here, let me tell you this story: A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife.

The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed wife.

“Honey!” he cried. “Is that you?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Are you happy?”

“Yes, my husband.”

“Happier than you were with me?”

“Yes, my husband...much happier!”

“Then Heaven must be an amazing place!”

“I’m not in Heaven, dear.”

While we may be laughing at these funny stories about failed marriages, many politicians, movie celebrities and high-profile personalities have joined the Marriage Casualty list. And my heart is saddened whenever I watch on TV news about such split-ups, where the talk centers on how much of the properties will be granted to each party as part of their divorce settlements. And when asked why they’re splitting up, their unified response (courtesy of their lawyers’ advice) is irreconcilable differences.

Whatever happened to “…In sickness or in health, ‘til death do us part?”

James C. Dobson says, “A good marriage is not one where perfection reigns. It is a relationship where a healthy perspective overlooks a multitude of unresolvables.”

Marriage is a perfect union of two perfectly defective individuals. That’s why God has to be in the equation to hold it together. The closer one is to God, the closer he or she will be to his or her spouse. When the relationship is formed this way, there will be no such thing as “irreconcilable differences”.

Marriages may be made in heaven, but man still has a responsibility in its maintenance.

So what does the Bible has to say about God’s view on divorce? Well, the Bible says God hates it. I guess that just about sums up everything.

(Get daily inspirational quotes and thoughts from Francis! Send “Inspire” to 288 for Smart or Sun subscribers and 2889 for Globe. Visit facebook.com/franciskong2 for more details.)