Do you want to be of greater influence today more than yesterday? Would you like people to take you seriously? I don’t mean constantly looking for approval from others but putting yourself in a position where people listen to you and they are persuaded to believe in who you are and what you’re about – would you like that?
If your answer is yes, Guy Kawasaki’s latest book Enchantment is for you.
All things being equal, the person who would get the promotions will most likely be the person who is liked more. Now, all things not being equal, the person who would get the promotions will most likely be the person who is liked more.
That’s just the way it is.
For people to like you, they have to accept you. For people to accept you, you have to accept them.
And so Guy Kawasaki presents four observations in Enchantment that will help you accept others in case you have difficulty doing so:
1. PEOPLE ARE NOT BINARY.
People are not either ones or zeros, smart or dumb, worthwhile or worthless. Every person is a dynamic combination of strengths and weaknesses, positives and negatives, competencies and deficiencies.
2. EVERYONE IS BETTER THAN YOU AT SOME THINGS.
People who don’t accept others often think of themselves as superior to everyone. But no one is superior to everyone in every way. You may be a rich investment banker, but the person you look down upon may be a greater teacher. Or you may have all the money in the world, but then again, I may be better-looking than you. (That’s not in the book – I just made that one up).
3. PEOPLE ARE MORE SIMILAR THAN THEY ARE DIFFERENT.
At a basic level, almost everyone wants to raise a family, do something meaningful, and enjoy life. This is true across races, cultures, creeds, colors and countries. If you looked, you would discover that you have a lot in common with people who you don’t like.
4. PEOPLE DESERVE A BREAK.
The stressed and unorganized person who doesn’t have the same priorities as you have may be dealing with an autistic child, an abusive spouse, fading parents or cancer. Don’t judge people until you’ve walked a kilometer in their shoes. Give them a break instead. This is how you get people to accept you by accepting them first.
Death is the great equalizer Kawasaki says. We all die equal as a lump of tissue, bone and fluid. While we’re living, we need to get over ourselves and accept others if we want to inspire them.
A Persian proverb that says, “At the end of a chess game, both the king and the pawn goes back to the same box.” Better still is the Bible which reminds us that we need to consider others better than ourselves. This way we remain realistic. This way we continue to learn from others.
Consider the following realities:
• The higher you are in your leadership position, the more detached you may be from reality.
• Your inner circle would love to filter the information that would reach you.
• You begin to believe your own press releases.
• Suddenly you can’t stand bad news anymore, and you shoot the messenger bearing it.
• The air up there becomes thinner. You believe people telling you how great you are, then you begin to suffer from “AIR-ROGANCE”.
• Suddenly the people around you laugh at your stupid jokes all the time, leading you to genuinely think you’re so witty.
• You now consider yourself better than everybody else, and this makes you more isolated and insulated.
• You will begin to make stupid decisions, and lose the trust, the love and the respect people have for you.
DON’T LET THIS HAPPEN!
Maintain humility. Embrace “teachability”. Serve, and don’t expect to be served. Not only will you be accepted in this way, you will actually be on your path to greatness.
That’s just the way it is.
(Develop your leadership skills with Francis Kong this May 4-5 at the EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. Call Pam or Krisselle of Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. at 632-6872614 or 09178511115 for further details.)