Between dogs and cats

My children are into business now. They have opened a pet grooming shop and they are very excited. They have a nice location, they love pets and they are so creative with what they do. This reminds me of a material I came across via The American Family Association. This material is meaningful especially to parents with teenagers. Let me share it with you:

One parent said, “I just realized that while children are dogs – loyal and affectionate – teenagers are cats. It’s so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knees and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.”

“Then around age 13, your adorable little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your footsteps, it disappears. You won’t see it again until it gets hungry – then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen to turn its nose up at whatever you’re serving.

“When you reach out to ruffle its head in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare as if trying to remember where it has seen you before. You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won’t go on family outings.

“Since you’re the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave. Only, now you’re dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps to the counter. The more you go toward it wringing your hands, the more it moves away.

“Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you have to learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and affection too. Sit still and it will come, seeking the warm, comfortable lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it. One day, your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, “You’ve been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you.”

“Then you will realize your cat is a dog again.” [Author Unknown]

Alan Smith said, “Parenting is a tremendous challenge and can especially be difficult during the teenage years. In my more exasperating moments as a parent, I was tempted to believe that Mark Twain’s philosophy was the one to follow. He said when a kid turns thirteen, stick him in a barrel, nail the lid on top, and feed him through the knothole. When he turns sixteen – plug up the knothole!” But this should not be.

We’ve all been there before. We’ve been teenagers before. I’ve been one, and now I have them too. They are God’s gifts to me. Whether they are dogs and cats, the important thing to remember is that they are my children, and one day they will have teenagers too.

Most teenagers I know want to save the earth, but few would want to help their mother clean the dishes, and that’s all right. Especially now that I know how to handle dogs and cats.

(Develop your leadership skills! Francis Kong will be the lead trainer for the Dr. John Maxwell’s “Developing the Leader Within You” leadership program this August 26-27 at the EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries, contact Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. at 632-6872614 or 09178511115.)