How do we correct our children?
Give them the killer dagger look, scream or shout at them or even use the rod on them? What happens after that? We embrace them, reassure them we love them and what does this all mean? As leaders in the home we are to be tough but tender, a combination of both velvet and steel.
Would you still be surprised if I say that the same principle applies to the work place?
Leadership guru Dr. John Maxwell whose programs my partners and I are privileged to represent in our country talks about this in an article entitled: “Velvet-Covered Bricks.”
Consider the following:
1. Tough but tender
Some leaders are so tough they could chew nails, but their insensitivity prevents them from connecting with their employees. Ignorant of the emotions around them, they rely on authority and scare tactics to earn the allegiance of their team.
Other leaders go the extra mile to earn the admiration of those they lead. They love to be seen as the “good guy,” and they go soft on their team. To protect their popularity, they sacrifice healthy confrontation or neglect holding employees accountable.
A Velvet-Covered Brick leader makes difficult decisions, but at the same time, they act as emotional caretakers to the people their choices affect. They instill discipline, but they also provide encouragement and inspiration.
2. Confront problems but consider perspectives
Velvet-Covered Brick leaders are not afraid to deal with conflict in order to iron out an unhealthy situation. By actively addressing problems, they are peacemakers as opposed to peacekeepers. At the same time, such a leader remains open to the perspective of others. Although supremely confident, a wise leader knows the fallibility of his or her judgment, and they turn an attentive ear to those who share differing opinions.
3. Committed to results and committed to relationships
Leaders with a Velvet-Covered Brick mentality refuse to compromise goals or take the easy road out of tough spots. They relentlessly set the bar high so that the team achieves its potential. Yet, all the while, leaders value people just as much as productivity. They never sacrifice relationships simply to get results
4. Professional and personal
The Velvet-Covered Brick type of leader maintains an aura of professionalism in the workplace at all times. Such a leader stays poised in the most heated moments and keeps control of his or her emotions. While approachable, they reserve part of themselves (their fears, knowledge, insights) so that they can effectively motivate the team from a place of authority.
At the same time, leaders don’t want to come across as aloof, distant, or plastic. The best leaders are warm, genuinely interested in their teammates, and intentional in understanding what makes each person unique. Additionally, to connect with the team, they may show selectively disclose information about themselves or even let down their emotional guard during a meeting.
5. Take criticism and serve the critic
Leaders who aspire to be Velvet-Covered Bricks develop thick skin and bypass the desire to retaliate against critics. Instead, they graciously accept criticism and welcome confrontation. Then, they take pains to win over their critics by reaching out them. They go the extra mile to wade through conflict until resolution can be reached.
6. Respected and approachable
A leader earns respect on the basis of what he or she has done. More often than not, respect is gained on difficult ground. Adverse circumstances test the mettle of a leader and show a leader’s true merit.
For a Velvet-Covered Brick leader, respect is balanced by approachability. An approachable leader has a consistent mood, is quick to forgive, willing to apologize, and shows authenticity. A leader at ease with himself puts others at ease. Secure leaders aren’t constantly seeking validation from others, and, as such they are free to add value to those they lead rather than deriving value from the approval of those around them.
People are drawn to leaders who value them. They will approach a leader who makes them feel encouraged, helps them grow, and treats them honestly.
This is why Jesus Christ is the best model when it comes to what and how a leader’s way should be. He said the following words: “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave — just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many…and that He really did.
(Francis Kong will be the lead trainer for the Dr. John Maxwell’s “Developing the Leader Within You” leadership program this Dec. 4 to 5 at the Hotel Intercon Makati. For further inquiries contact Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. 632-8129125).
(Send me your feedback and write me: franciskong@businessmatters.org. You can also listen to my radio program “Business Matters” aired 8:30 a.m. and 6:30 p.m. daily over 98.7 dzFE-FM ‘The Master’s Touch’, the classical music station.)