Regrets and offenses
If you are in the work place, then it is a certainty that you have been offended or you will be offended.
And the higher you go up the corporate food chain, the frequency of the offenses increase. But in your quest to be successful, chances are you have also offended someone along the way. Now why is this so? Because you and I are born with factory defects. It’s not a perfect world because it is a world made up of imperfect people like you and me. Regrets and Offenses. They’re all over the place.
I saw a bumper sticker in
Some people have dreams while others have regrets.
And you know that you’re miserable when your regrets have taken over your dreams.
Miserable people have a recycle bin full of past mistakes. There is a built in recorder inside their head and their hearts that make them rethink their regrets and recycle their remorse. They can’t let go of it. Their sentences usually begin with their favorite phrases, “I should’ve,” “I would’ve,” “I could’ve,” “Why didn’t I?” and “If only.”
They never take their eyes off where they’ve been. How can they move forward when their eyes are still glued to the rear view mirror?
Happy people know that you can either learn from the past or live in it. (The past is a nice place to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there.) Happy people turn every regret into a resolve. Rather than saying, “I can’t believe I did that,” they repent, refocus, and say, “Whew. I’ll never do that again!”
Meanwhile miserable people plan their actions based on their fears. They only know of one strategy for their life and their business. “Worst-case-Scenario Strategy.” They don’t dwell on possible things that may go right; it’s always on the sure things that will go wrong. What an effective way to be miserable.
Don’t be surprised if I tell you that people like these are closely related to people who easily take offense too because a close relative to regrets is offenses.
Some people cannot recover from offenses done against them. They hold on to their grudges. This is so sad and tragic. Because what they have done is to allow others to control their life and limit their potentials.
I have been cheated in business and I have been on the receiving end of a dirty smear campaign. Should I allow the slanderer to control my life? Why should I give him the pleasure? I sleep peacefully every night because my conscience is clear and I know God is all-knowing. I wonder if my offender can sleep well at night? But that is his business not mine.
Rene Descartes says it beautifully: “Whenever anyone has offended me, I try to raise my soul so high that the offense cannot reach it.”
Abraham Lincoln says: “We should be too big to take offense, and too noble to give it.”
Miserable people are people who take offense quickly.
If you say something, it offends them. If you don’t say something, it offends them. They’re mad when someone tries to help, and they’re furious when someone doesn’t.
They’re even offended when someone is trying to make amends!
They’re offended if someone apologizes too late, too quickly, or not enough.
Heck, they’re probably offended when no one is offending them.
These are the people who brighten up the room by leaving it. They love company. They love making others miserable with their sad and sob stories.
On the other hand, the happiest people in the world refuse to be offended. No one can hurt them enough to prevent them from achieving their dreams in life. Winners know that being offended takes too much time and wastes too much energy. That’s just too much work. They forgive quickly because they know they need forgiveness from others.
I like what American novelist Lousa May Alcott has to say:
“Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success.”
So are you the miserable type or are you the hopeful type? Do regrets and offenses affect you most of the time?
Love God love life laugh at your mistakes and live life to the full.
(Francis Kong will be the lead trainer for the Dr. John Maxwell’s Developing the Leader Within You leadership program this December 4-5 at the Hotel Intercon Makati. For further inquiries, contact Inspire Leadership Consultancy Inc. 632-8129125)
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