P3-million massage

Beware of home service massage ads. Our Spa Spy-Ring reported that young, nubile masseuses have been raking it in from young men, rising executives, and your basic adventurous Joes with cash to spare. Apparently, these girls have been in demand not so much for their therapeutic rubdowns but because of other arcane kneading and stroking techniques euphemistically known as "extra service." However, the Spy-Ring disclosed that a number of men with means, who have sampled these girls’ esoteric techniques, are now regretting the experience. The modus operandus – after giving their clients a soothing experience, the girls show up at the guy’s place the next day crying harassment with media men, relatives, and lawyers in tow. Their P3-million shiatsu or Swedish massage has truly become an unforgettable life experience.

More charges rain on Swank Hank

In the continuing saga of Swank Hank’s Starr Wars, it seems the legal woes of former American International Group (AIG) chairman and CEO Maurice Greenberg is far from over now that New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer has announced that he may file additional civil charges. While Spitzer had said that no criminal charges are expected in the suit against Greenberg for alleged accounting deception and fraud to manipulate AIG’s finances and boost company stock price, there may yet be criminal charges from federal prosecutors in two separate investigations of Greenberg. The usually garrulous and combative Hank was said to have been unavailable for comment to Darth Spitzer’s latest legal assault.

Der Fuehrer in Der Flughafen

Our airport Spy-Ring reported about a character allegedly called Hitler behind his back by airport personnel. The diminutive man reportedly goes around the MIA terminals with no less than five assistants, arrogantly shouting at personnel whom he thinks are not working double time. The man is also said to confiscate locators’ airport passes on a whim, demands free snacks for him and his boys. He also allegedly gets a share from the collections and tips of airport porters. Airport personnel don’t like him, but they have no choice but to do as this person pleases because it seems that he can get away with whatever he pleases. Though government is supposed to be observing austerity, sources said this toughie loves collecting a certain brand of shades, and drives a flashy Japanese brand SUV. Question is, can he afford them on his government salary? Quite the opposite of the original Hitler known for his austere taste, except for his beloved Grosser Mercedes 770K.

English, please

Lack of qualified call center employees, particularly those with a good command of English, is causing a number of call centers to resort to pirating employees and offering hiring bonuses from competitors, a solon said. While this may be a positive indication of the industry’s rapid expansion that could in turn provide new employment, the fact also underscores the need to improve the English proficiency of college graduates to ensure that the booming outsourcing industry will not run out of needed human resources in the coming years, Rep. Eduardo Gullas stressed. According to the Business Process Association of the Philippines, the current take up rate is very low at five out of 100 applicants. Of the approximate 380,000 college graduates each year, about 19,000 may be qualified to handle call center and other outsourcing jobs, the DTI reported. Among the industries projected to have the fastest wage and salary employment growth until 2012 is data processing and other information services. Studies have shown that some 3.3-million jobs would be off-shored or out-sourced for the next 10 years by the US alone, Gullas added

Spy tidbiz: Bill Gates email hoax

Some gullible people still keep forwarding emails claiming that Bill Gates wants to share his fortune, and that Microsoft and AOL are conducting an "email beta test" to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program. According to the email, Microsoft will pay $245 for every person that one sends it to; $243 for every person who received the email and forwards it; then $241 for every third person that receives it. Microsoft will allegedly contact the person within two weeks, and after verification will send a check supposedly in thousands, depending on how many people the email was forwarded to. This is a hoax that has been running since 1997, with variations in the nature of the test and the rewards, such as free clothes, computers or even free vacations just because someone forwarded an email. Such hoaxes are generally harmless because they don’t contain viruses, but they can be such a pain because one has to scroll down over long lists of names and addresses before getting to the gist of the message.

* * *

Join our ring of Eye-spies by sending your intelligence information, complaints, pictures, and comments to [email protected].

All information will be strictly confidential.