The case of the kidnapped lechon

Here’s another one for our Only in da Pilipins file. Assumption’s 1979 high school class planned a reunion last Thursday. The Old Girls were informed that it was a pot luck party augmented by catering from Cabalen. An Ear-Spy reported that one of the classmembers, a jeweler, even went to the length of ordering a special lechon from her aunt in Davao. On the night of the party, she sent the chief of her security to fetch the porker at the domestic airport. He dutifully secured the lechon and deposited it in the company van with the jeweler’s famous logo. Then the security chief worked on the attendant release papers for the delicacy. When he got back to the van, he was stunned to find the lechon missing. The lechon rustlers probably expected to find diamonds in the van or in the lechon. His boss raised a howl prompting airport authorities to make sure security clamped down on the airport. The lechon was eventually found in a parked car, which would presumably be used for the getaway. All’s well that ends well. A lechon found its way to the party to the delight of many Xenically-assisted bellies. However, it wasn’t the original Davao lechon, which was checked for precautions. The PNP and the DILG should document this first recorded case of porcine kidnapping in their blotters. This is certainly a bizarre case where the portly Dr. Watson would have taken the lead over Sherlock Holmes. Last we heard, the Old Girls are holding another reunion tomorrow to feast on the paksiw of the original Davao lechon.

The listening post: High society goings-on

Our society Matahari dished some juicy tidbits about this businessman who likes meddling with columnists who write negative but objective articles about his favorite riverine character. The riverine personality has made the businessman’s office a favorite port of call, so to speak, and they occasionally have lunch together. The riverine character allegedly likes the businessman’s comportment and often praises him because his company did well in selling some of his business interests to a well-known Chinese Hong Kong tycoon. The sale was reportedly engineered by the businessman’s chief finance officer who was formerly country manager of a blue chip IT company. This CFO is reportedly a close associate of a notorious personality regarded by many as an influence peddler. By the way, this businessman’s girlfriend reportedly is a gem of a woman — who left her husband because she received a nice condo from lover boy.

‘Crazy’ women kidnapping children

Mothers and nannies should be on the alert for the new modus operandi of kidnap gangs. According to Spybiz sources, women pretending to be crazy roam the streets of middle class neighborhoods on the lookout for infants, toddlers and young children to kidnap. The women then snatch the children from unsuspecting and inattentive nannies and mothers. In the past, these women were able to get away with the kidnapping attempt because the authorities and relatives of the victim often dismissed them as nut cases, but the police should wise up to the "crazy" act now.

Spy tidbiz: Cautious on the SONA

The business Spy-Ring reported that various business groups carefully monitored the SONA yesterday. They were looking for clues that would affect the economy. More important, they were avoiding making rash judgments and manifestos like what happened last July 8.

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