April Fools
April 1, 2004 | 12:00am
According to our top eyespy, the Man from Istanbul, the merry month of April will end with a dramatic twist. He reported that Ping Lacson will eventually give way to FPJ to ensure the victory of the opposition. Mass defections of politicians from Lakas and NPC are expected by the end of April as well. This was anticipated since the end of last year. The defection of Negros Occidental Gov. Maranon from the GMA camp is just the beginning. According to our eyespies, Lakas and NPC congressmen and governors will have received the political goodies from GMA by the end of April. Exodus is at hand. When the political Moses, who is moving in the background, gives the signal to "Let my people come" after his conglomerates board meeting, the deluge will start. This could be a big April Fools trick on the Administration. However, Spokesboy Mike Defensor counters by saying the biggest April Fools will be on May 10 when the opposition wakes up the next morning with GMA winning by five million votes.
US Government employees were recently reminded of their obligation to abide by American laws, especially Intellectual Property Rights (IPR) laws. As an additional incentive to this message, our diplomatic spyring disclosed that the Consular Section recently received a report that Department of Homeland Security personnel searched the bag of a group of Filipinos entering the US on Northwest Flight 72 in Detroit. During the search, 70 to 80 compact discs, 30 to 40 empty DVD jackets and 10 to 20 DVDs were found in their possession. Because the travelers were not American citizens, their visas were canceled and they were deported to the Philippines. If they had been Americans, they could have been subject to arrest and criminal prosecution in addition to civil fines and penalties. So dont be careless when going abroad. Being tagged as a digital pirate is easier than you think. Better still, we should familiarize ourselves with anti-piracy legislation such as the newly-passed Optical Media Act.
Do you hear that large sucking sound from Chinas direction? Well, our global spyring is monitoring a worldwide steel scrap shortage that is largely created by massive Chinese demand. It is creating havoc for US industries and forcing emergency action to cap prices in parts of Asia. Steel scrap prices in the US doubled from $77 a ton in early 2001 to $156 a ton in December 2003 before skyrocketing to an unprecedented $302 a ton last month. Prices were being pushed higher by Chinese demand, a weaker dollar, and foreign trade restrictions. Chinas insatiable appetite is consuming steel scrap, lead, brass, copper, recycled paper, and alloys. China had to increase its steel production by more than 50 percent from 2000 to 2002 alone and their imports have gone up correspondingly. This has caused disruptions in Asia. South Korea has issued a temporary ban on exports of scrap iron and steel bars. Vietnam cut tariffs for the second time in less than a week on March 3 to curb prices. There is now a shortage of scrap metal in the Philippines. Binondo sources reported that the Koreans have wiped out Cebus scrap metal supply. It has come to a point that a Swiss group is reportedly planning to open a trading office here to secure supplies. Somebody should tell the US steel industry that after blitzing Iraq last year there are heaps of scrap metal in Iraq. It has come to a point that even the Man of Steel has to hie off to another galaxy to avoid being recast in Shenzen.
The first Presidential Security Group (PSG) Chief of FVR was sighted at Camp Aguinaldo last Friday. Apparently, FVRs boys are increasing their meetings and coordination with officials within the camp. There, too, was a sighting of a senior NBI official in the premises at the same time. With the national campaign past the midway mark, retired political vassals are coming out of the woodwork to provide the muscle for the vaunted Administration machinery. And the efficiency and reach of this machinery is beginning to show.
Recently, a junior kinder boy won the "Best in Science" medal in his level. His proud parents wanted to encourage his scientific bent so they rewarded him with an electric-powered remote control airplane. It took a day to assemble the styrofoam fuselage and wings and to charge the batteries. It was understandable that the boys excitement to fly the plane was mounting. The father even gave him rudimentary lessons in aviation that evening such as wind conditions and checklists before takeoff. Finally, they decided to test the plane at a polo field. The boy was squealing with delight when the plane got airborne and was responding to the remote control. Suddenly, club security personnel appeared and told the family that they couldnt fly the plane in the field even if there wasnt a polo match going on. A sunny day, a worthy pursuit to encourage science in a young mind, and a bunch of spoilsports. Could a two-pound. styrofoam plane lift a bomb? And to think that the family only considered the polo field because of the lack of wide green areas in the city. It is no wonder then that the culture of science wont thrive in these benighted islands.
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