Malacañang’s going to the dogs

The Palace is literally going to the dogs! The First Gentleman and the First Daughter moved the doghouses from Malacanang Park and had canine cages built within the residential area. There are about 25 dogs barking away at the first sign of a visitor to Malacanang. According to our US ear-spies, the White House Protocol Office is thinking of adding an American dog to the Palace pooches as a gift when George Bush visits the country this October. What a lucky dog – it would be traveling First Class on Air Force One!

Pin the tale on the spin-doctor

A very bad tale about his citizenship just got pinned on this former image-maker and Malacanang spin-doctor from what he suspects to be "The Firm." As sweet vengeance would have it, the former spin-doctor will now expose "The Firm’s" shenanigans and "wheeling and dealings." Of course, we can expect "The Firm" to fight back and weave a more controversial tale to pin on the spin-doctor. This is one of those never-ending political sagas that one can expect as 2004 approaches. In the end, guess who will be the hardest hit? No less than the Little Lady on top.

Big talker

Big spender and big talker Presidential Adviser is really giving the OFWs the runaround. All these big promises about thousands of jobs for the hundreds of thousands of overseas workers are nothing more than a figment of his tottering imagination. So far, there is nothing down the pipeline. Absolutely nothing! The workers have been waiting and waiting and waiting for even the slightest hint of promise. Instead of doing his job, the big-time spender Presidential Adviser is on vacation with the Philippine envoy to Spain, enjoying the wine in the South of France. By the time he finally gets to work, Baghdad would’ve been fully reconstructed.

Politicians should stop running

According to our eye-spies, a group of medium-scale businessmen are bonding themselves together to actively participate in the elections of 2004. In one of their meetings, our ear-spies overheard that the businessmen are tired of politicians who are driving the public up the wall. Politicians should stop running altogether, they said, especially running the country to the ground.

Victoria’s envy

Victoria’s never-ending envy is eating him away. He loves to take potshots at people by writing about their possessions. Why he keeps on doing this is obvious: he knows he cannot have what other people possess all because this P1,500 per column "columnist" does not have the dough to support his questionable lifestyle. He is obviously hanging on to his "Honey Pie" to keep up with his expenses using her inherited unexplained wealth. He’s also using her to squeeze himself into the social circles. But as far as one can see, he is not and will never be accepted. For instance, in a recent wedding anniversary bash that was thrown by Ambassador Philip Lhuillier and his wife, the top 500 of Manila’s finest personalities were invited. Queen Victoria tried to get himself invited to the affair, but as good luck would have it (good few weeks ago, he wrote about a wealthy businessman who could well afford a Maserati (obviously, Victoria was in one of his resentful moods since he cannot own one). After the article was published, the businessman received numerous anonymous phone calls with threats of kidnapping. Out of fear, he left suddenly for Europe with his wife. Because of extreme anxiety and stress, the businessman suddenly passed away. Our ear-spies overheard a grieving relative say, "I hope one day somebody gets that AC-DC columnist."

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