Of fairies and such

Someone is in the market for a tabloid.

Here’s the twist though. Instead of the standard fare of sex and violence, the buyer wants to feature stories on the fourth dimension. That means stories on duwendes, tiyanaks and encantos and how they affect ordinary men and men instead of alien (read: extra-terrestrial) abductions and Elvis sightings that sell copies in the United States.

Yes, there would also be tooth fairy stories but these would probably be relegated to the inside pages.

* * *

There’s always a lot of people loitering around the foreign exchange counter of SM-San Fernando but the line is amorphous at best.

You see, these holders of dollars (sent by relatives based abroad) are a sophisticated lot. They constantly monitor the peso-dollar rate.

Only if the rate is to their liking do they join the line (but not necessarily, as good manners dictate, at the back of the line).

* * *

There’s talk the Cebu branch of Day’s Inn is closing shop or has closed. The local franchise is held by the group of Reynaldo Concepcion, the non-twin brother of the better-known Joe and Ronnie Concepcion.

You see, there’s already a lot of hotels for all budgets in that town.

* * *

During the weekends, Monetary Board member Vicente Valdepeñas can be found at Ateneo de Manila University.

You see, Vic Valdepeñas is helping set up the system that would allow the Jesuits to easily access data from any of its schools nationwide.

While the system will initially be helpful in updating the whereabouts of alumni, consider the research data available from provincial cities where Ateneo is the school of choice.

* * *

It’s probably a coincidence that all the new consultants of the Commission on Audit are current professors at the Polytechnic University of the Philippines. As everybody knows, PUP president Ofelia Carague is the wife of CoA chairman Guillermo Carague.

Gem Carague is in the process of overhauling the CoA – and that places him in the same category as Atilla the Hun and Adolf Hitler among employees.

Being pushed, among others, is the private sector auditing practice of making an opinion that the company’s financial statements conform with generally accepted accounting practices.

As such, the CoA will make an opinion only on the financial documents government agencies and government-owned and-controlled corporations choose to present for examination.

This is akin to a veterinarian pulling out all the teeth of a dog suffering from a cavity or two.

Right now, the CoA can do pre-audit examinations on government agencies and GOCCs, if it suspects there’s some hanky-panky going on. The pre-audits are unannounced and the CoA auditors are given the time and the authority to check not just the head office but to make field inspections as well.