Is it possible to raise the IQ of bureaucrats?

I realize this may be something of an impossible dream. But there is an urgent need to raise the IQ of our bureaucrats. Here is case number 1.

I received an e-mail from a reader complaining about the Pag-Ibig Fund. Last Aug. 22, he saw a paid advertisement of Pag-Ibig in the leading newspapers encouraging delinquent borrowers to avail of a program that reduces the interest rate for their loans to a range of nine to 14 percent.

Our reader inquired if updated loan borrowers can avail of the reduced interest rate. To his utter shock and dismay, he was told that the program was for delinquent borrowers only. Those who religiously pay their loans must continue to pay interest at the rate of 16 percent. My assistant told me she is paying Pag-Ibig 17 percent.

Our reader was aghast that Pag-Ibig has a program that rewards delinquents and punishes those who take their obligations seriously. In the case of my assistant, she recently updated her account, so she isn’t qualified to have her interest rate reduced either. Our reader thinks the government bureaucracy at Pag-Ibig is stupid to come up with a program like this that effectively discriminates against law abiding citizens.

Ho-hum. Why am I not surprised? Of course, dear reader, such a stupid knee-jerk program is to be expected from our bureaucrats. It is pointless to waste your adrenaline denouncing such waste of scarce budgetary resources on people who do not have functioning brains. Your blood pressure will just rise to unhealthy levels and accomplish nothing.

I will do you a favor. Through this column, I am asking Pag-Ibig to inform its members what it would take to be considered a delinquent. I suspect all it would take is for you not to pay your amortization for three to four months. Once you are considered a delinquent, you are qualified to have your interest rate reduced. Simple, di ba?

But I am surprised Pag-Ibig is charging more than the commercial rate for home mortgage. We were told that its reason for being is to help poor homeless citizens, not provide gainful employment for mindless bureaucrats. I’ve seen newspaper ads of leading banks offering much lower rates than 16 or 17 percent. Our reader should probably explore the option of having one of these banks refinance his mortgage. That will give him the added advantage of having nothing more to do with stupid government bureaucrats in that loveless housing agency.

Secretary Mike Defensor should look into this. I know they are only trying to reduce the level of their NPLs. But they should not, in the process, punish the borrowers who live up to their side of the bargain.

Command responsibility

Case number 2 has to do with the recent suspension of some high level DPWH officials who were admittedly not involved in the car repair scam but are being punished nevertheless for command responsibility. I am aghast at the testimony of DPWH Secretary Simeon Datumanong before the Senate public works committee.

On the one hand, Datumanong and the DPWH internal auditor cleared the two undersecretaries, given that the vouchers covering funds releases for the vehicle repairs are approved at least two levels below them. In other words, the officials are not involved at all in the transactions. The documents never passed their desks.

But even as they were cleared, Datumanong justified their suspension for 90 days "for command responsibility." That’s a catch-all charge that is unfair for a public servant like Usec Mabini Pablo, for example, who has managed to keep his nose clean for over 30 years of service in a graft ridden agency like DPWH. In fact, EQ, as he is known among his schoolmates at UP Prep class 66, does not even own a house and continues to stay with his in-laws. If he were with the private sector, he would be much better off financially.

Why is he being obviously persecuted? My suspicion is, someone just wants his position as well as that of the other undersecretary, Edmundo Mir. Ironically, EQ wanted out a long time ago but was prevailed upon to stay a while longer. While I do not know Mr. Mir, I know Mr. Pablo well and I think there is a special place in hell for those who are behind such an act of injustice.

Actually, if command responsibility is to be the operative mode, then why stop with the Undersecretaries? Actually, unlike the usecs, the internal auditor must have gone through those papers before the scam was discovered and he or she reports directly to the secretary. Why isn’t the secretary being held culpable for command responsibility too? That’s just logical. But in government, you’d be crazy to expect things to make sense. But should the national leadership perpetrate injustice?

Opinionless accountants

I know accountants are about the driest people on earth. But even I didn’t expect some accountants would complain about things I said in jest about them in the last couple of columns. Okay, I’m sorry. I should have known better that reminding everyone that Victorias happened years before Enron and replicated in CIPI isn’t funny if it’s true.

So, as an act of contrition, I am dedicating today’s joke to all you humorless and opinionless accountants out there.

A Martian lands to plunder, pillage and burn. The Martian goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says "I’m a Martian just arrived from the other side of the galaxy. We’re here to destroy your civilization, pillage and burn. What do you think of that?"

The owner replies "I don’t have an opinion. I’m a certified public accountant."

(Boo Chanco’s e-mail address is bchanco@bayantel.com.ph)