What to do when you feel useless at work

Dear Nanay,
I work at an office in Ortigas and I was recently diagnosed with tuberculosis. I went on leave from the company and with the help of God, I am well again today. The doctor has given me a clean bill of health. But because I work with the president of the company, he is now worried about getting infected and he no longer wants to work with me. The company is still paying my salary but I am sitting in the office not doing anything. I am getting bored. What should I do?
– Andre

Dear Andre,

I understand your predicament. Some may say that you are so lucky that you are being paid to do nothing. But I know how boring it is to sit around doing nothing the whole day. Parang nakakabobo di ba? (It makes you feel stupid, doesn’t it?)

If I were you, I’d start looking for another job where you will be happier and have the opportunity to improve your knowledge and skills. Who knows, maybe you will be able to find a new job that has better pay. Or maybe you will find yourself in another company where you can really shine.

In the meantime, treat your situation as a blessing in disguise because you have the opportunity to look for another job while still collecting a salary. Think about how fortunate you are as you will not find yourself unemployed while looking for greener pastures. At worst, even if you cannot find another job immediately, you still have your old job to fall back on. Kahit nakakatamad pumasok doon, trabaho pa rin iyon at sinisuwelduhan ka pa rin. (Even if you’re half-hearted about going to work there, it’s still a job that pays.)

Sincerely,
Nanay

* * * Carrying On With A Married Man

Dear Nanay,
I am a homosexual. I met a guy who is married with four children and 20 years older than me. He considers himself a bisexual. His wife doesn’t know about our relationship. His greatest fear is that his wife will find out about our relationship, so we’ve been doing things in secret for the past three years. We don’t have a commitment to each other because he is married but I know he has feelings for me and I am so in love with him. Nanay, I need your help. Mayroon ba akong makukuha sa kanya in the end? (Will I gain anything out of this relationship?) May patutunguhan ba ang relasyon namin? (Is this relationship going anywhere?) What should I do?
– John

Dear John,

As far as I am concerned, once the person you are in love with or have a relationship with is married, that person is off-limits. Period. It doesn’t matter if you are straight, gay, young, old, rich or poor.

Kung ikaw ay isang mabuting kaibigan, hindi mo dapat sirain ang pamilya ng iyong kaibigan. (If you’re a good friend, you shouldn’t do anything to ruin his family.) Do you really want to be the reason for his family to be torn apart — especially with four children? And do not fool yourself, do not think that you can keep up your secret relationship forever. His wife will eventually find out and when she does, it will force your lover to make choices, the results of which may or may not be to your liking.

It is time to call it off. It may be difficult, but I think you know that it is the right thing to do.

Sincerely,
Nanay

* * *

If you have a question, e-mail us at asknanay@nationalbookstore.com.ph or just drop your letter at drop boxes in all National Book Store branches nationwide.