Lonely this Christmas?

Read on and smile

For a lot of Filipinos, this season is indeed a time to be jolly. However, there are some people who will not celebrate Christmas and remain gloomy and lonely. Believe it or not.

Who are these individuals?

1. Those still in mourning or grieving for the recent,  untimely demise of a significant loved one. This will be their first Christmas without them.

2. Those who recently lost their job. Without money, there will be no vacation and no celebration.

3. Those whose loved one was lost at sea because of a typhoon. It is hard to grieve without seeing the body of their loved one.

4. Those with relatives declared missing in action. The uncertainty of the survival or demise of their loved one is indeed difficult to handle.

5. Those who had been declared retired from government service, who apparently will just use their lump sum to pay their debts and will have a hard time accepting this new status. How will they assume this new life role of a retiree? Will they remain a plain retiree or re-create their status to become a retiree with an added expertise?

6. Those who have recently been divorced, separated or whose marriage has been annulled and are still  not adjusted to this new scenario. This will be their first Christmas holiday alone or as a solo parent.

7. Those who cannot accept the recent demise of their K-pop idol. Life has to move on despite this loss of inspiration.

8. Those caught in the crossfire of war. Survival is their priority rather than celebrating Christmas.

9. Those whose homes were destroyed by war or because of an environmental disaster. How can they celebrate when they have no roof over their head?

10. Those who were unsuccessful in passing a recent licensure exam. It is like the end of the world for such a failure, especially if they are banking on this particular exam for a better future.

11. Those who are medically ill and confinement in the hospital may extend beyond Christmas. Allowing family to have extended visits in the hospital may lift their spirits.

12. Those who are terminally ill. Usually, a psychiatrist or a psychologist is part of the medical team looking after a terminally ill individual.

13. Those with untreated clinical depression. This more severe form of depression include symptoms of fatigue or anergia (loss of energy) almost daily, constantly recurring feelings of worthlessness or guilt almost daily, poor concentration, inability to make decisions, insomnia or hypersomnia, recurring thoughts of suicide or death, and significant weight loss or weight gain (change in weight of more than five percent  in a month’s time).

Mentioned above are just some examples of people who could be sad and lonely this Christmas season. What can be done for them? Here are some tips to help cope with loneliness this Christmas season.

1. Prepare a festive meal for you and your family on Christmas Eve despite your sadness.

2. Encourage your grieving family members to get involved in community activities and to meet new people.

3. Take brisk walks together around your subdivision.

4. Re-connect with friends, schoolmates or officemates,  or extend your circle of friends.

5. Tap on your creativity by engaging in your previous hobbies or sports. This will help you regain your feeling of accomplishment.

6. Avoid hectic activities that may increase your physical and emotional stress.

7. Exercise daily because blood pumping aids in clearing the mind.

8. Spend time with people who cheer you up.

9. Go out of the house and enjoy the sunlight.

10. Brighten up your home. Use white light bulbs in place of the yellow ones. Light therapy helps reduce the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder (SAD). SAD is also called winter depression, summer depression or winter blues. It is a mood disorder, in which people who have normal mental health all throughout the year develop depression during the same period each year.

11. Do volunteer work. Because according to Stephen Post, “Giving is essential for optimum physical and mental health.” If you cannot donate money or material goods, volunteer your time and expertise for a cause.

12. Budget your gift spending to avoid “statement of account or bill shock” by January the next year.

13. Share your feelings with people you trust. Your family and true friends can empathize with your current woes.

14. Practice self-care.  Eat right and get enough sleep. Make sure that your bedroom is well ventilated and free of disturbing irritating odors. Make sure your bed is comfortable. Keep the television out of your bedroom. Keep the bedroom darker by closing the shades when you are about to sleep. If possible don’t take a day nap to ensure a good night’s sleep.

15. Set realistic expectations for your family and friends during the holiday period. Your unrealistic expectations, if not met, may further trigger and increase your loneliness.

16. Do calm breathing exercises. Take a long, slow breath in through your nose in order to fill up your lungs. Then hold your breath silently counting from one to three. Exhale slowly through your pursed lips while relaxing the muscles in your face, jaw, shoulders and stomach.

17. If the above suggestions do not seem to work for you, please seek professional help. Aside from counseling or supportive psychotherapy, you may also benefit from psychopharmacotherapy with anti-depressants.

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There is hope and recovery from loneliness and depression. You can get the name of the psychiatrist near you through Philippine Psychiatric Association Inc. Call 635-9598, visit www.philpsych.ph or e-mail philpsych.org@gmail.com. Its office is located at Suite 1011, 10th floor, Medical Plaza Ortigas Condominium, San Miguel Avenue, Ortigas Center, Pasig City. Usually, every private and government medical center has its own set of psychiatrists and psychologists.

You may also call Hopeline 24/7 Suicide Prevention and Emotional Crisis Lines at 804-4673 or 0917558-4673. For Globe and TM subscribers, Hopeline may be reached by dialing 2919.

(For questions on love, looks and relationships, you may e-mail this author at nina.halilijao@gmail.com. Happy Holidays to all our readers!)