Battle the holiday blues

Battling the blues because of a breakup?

It is normal to feel bad about it. However, if it happens right before Christmas, it may be a real ordeal moving on. This is the time to use your brain over your heart.

A person who plans a breakup right before Christmas must really be scheming and heartless, meaning that person is no good. You deserve somebody better than this individual.  Count this as a blessing instead because this had not led to a more permanent commitment like marriage.

Again, use your brain over your heart and protect yourself from further hurt and rejection. In other words, don’t make a fool of yourself by begging for a reconciliation. Stop contacting this person through phone calls, text messages or e-mail. Further rejections will double your depression and feeling of being abandoned.

There is definitely wisdom in not attending social gatherings where you and your former partner have common friends. This is the best time to reunite or re-connect with your other circles of friends.

If in the past, your center of attention was your former partner, this is also the time to change gears and center your attention on yourself. Pamper yourself! Change your hairstyle and even your hair color! Change your wardrobe! Looking good will boost your ego.

If you are financially stable, make the less fortunate happy. Donate toys for the chronically ill children at the Philippine General Hospital (PGH) or sponsor a Christmas lunch or dinner for the mentally ill patients at Ward 7 of the PGH. The sight of their happy faces is a sure awesome ego booster. It will give a different feeling of self-worth and accomplishment.

This will also be a good opportunity for you to strengthen your bond with your family. Spend time with them. Schedule an out-of-town or out-of-the-country trip with them to release you from recurring thoughts of your former partner.

You may also try physical exercise, which has a relaxing effect. Try working out in the gym as it not only releases your tension and tones your body, it is also another avenue for meeting other people. Try involving yourself in different activities like joining the church choir or be more active in your homeowners’ association.

There are a lot more things you can do this holiday season that can make you feel you are a better person in your family and community. Be more active and avoid triggering the Christmas blues after a recent breakup!

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When someone we love dies during the Christmas holidays, it is normal to go through a process of grieving. Tying up the meaning of Christmas with a  renewed sense of meaning, purpose and direction of life that our deceased loved one would want us to pursue will decrease the intensity of the emotional pain of losing our loved one. It is not at all helpful to isolate ourselves. We will need to talk with our family and friends about the death of our loved one so that we can fully understand the circumstances about the death.

There is a need to understand and accept our feelings about losing a loved one. You know, people react to the death of a loved one in different ways. Feeling sad, angry, frustrated or fatigued can happen and are all deemed as normal reactions. But since it is Christmas, even without our loved one, we should not forget why Christ was born.  The birth of Christ to save mankind plus the death of our loved one can be the spark that will make us more resilient, pick up the pieces of our lowered self-esteem, lift us from sadness and push us towards a direction in our lives.

We will need to take care of ourselves and our family. Remind each other to eat well, exercise and rest. Reminiscing stories about the deceased can inspire and help family members cope and realize the need to move on with life by supporting each other.

Remembering our departed loved ones during Christmas with certain activities like donating to their favorite charity, making picture collages of fun times with them or perhaps putting up a floral garden at the backyard in their memory are helpful in putting a halt to the progression of Christmas blues.

If you still feel overwhelmed with intense mixed emotions with the death of a loved one during the Christmas season despite the various strategies mentioned, seeking professional help from a psychiatrist or psychologist  will definitely be helpful.

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Wishing you all a blessed Christmas and a prosperous 2016!!!