Can’t decide?

Some people really have such hard times making decisions (yes, especially Librans, Gemini and even Pisces people). They over-exert their minds, over-analyze and move into compulsive over-thinking that ends up making them more confused, and burdened by headaches to boot.

"I have thought about decision so much!" a friend of mine recently wailed as she recounted her see-sawing act between trying to decide whether to buy a condo or a house. Another friend’s lament was more emotional... "Will I give in this argument or not? Is it the right time?"

Decision making time can actually hamper us from moving forward or making a choice. Sometimes, it is fear that hinders the forward movement. Fear that we may make a wrong decision. Sometimes, the real answer is not yet meant to come up because it is not yet time. How then does one manage to breeze through such moments?

Let me share with you my process. When I need to make a decision that involves something practical, I always first try to find out as much information, background or otherwise, about the things I have to decide on. Example: Do you study in this school or that? Find as much as you can about details and weigh options related to where you want to take yourself when it comes to studies. That’s easy, especially when it comes to practical things.

But what if this decision has a lot of emotions involved? When the mind cannot think clear and reason and logic are in hiding? My process is to go beyond the mind, to ask the Higher Self to help make that decision. This has never failed me. OK, others would term it as "Ask you angel" or God will help you decide. All of the above really... now, think of something you have to decide on. Go to a quiet place to be alone — in front of your altar or any sacred space is best. On this decision that needs to be made, you may have two options, perhaps even three. Take a symbolic item to represent each of the options. Let’s take the case of my friend who can’t decide between buying a house or a condo. I told her to cut up a picture of a condo (the kind she likes), and another, a picture of a house (the style she likes). Even more simple is just to write on one piece of paper the word "condo" and the other, "house." You can even make it more specific. "A condo in Serendra" for example. Or "a house in Quezon City." Then put these two pieces of paper (or pictures) in front of you and sit in prayer or meditation. Feel, not think... feel and try to connect to what those two symbols or words represent. Pick up any emotions, physical feelings or manifestations of how each symbol or picture is relating to you. As you sit there longer, and quiet your mind, one of your options will "talk" to you as images, thoughts and suggestions connect you closer to one, more than the other. When your mind comes in the way of the meditative/feeling process, ask a question such as "which choice will be better for my growth or evolution?" Gently injecting such a question in your mind will redirect the energies beyond the mind, to that timeless, eternal space where the Higher Forces and Beings, as well as your soul, resides. Remember, this process only works when you are quiet, and not with raging emotions happening inside you (such as the case if you are deciding whether to dump one guy and choose another!). You have to bring yourself beyond your mind, and beyond your ego (where all these petty emotions and judgments reside).

What we are trying to access here is wisdom from the Higher Forces. They are always there. You only have to open yourself for the chance for them to come in and help you decide. When nothing still seems to be clear between the options you have to choose from, then let it rest for a while, since the time to decide may not yet be now. Then try again later, or the next day. Trust that the process will yield to you the right and best decision for your soul growth.

(E-mail the writer at jejavelosa@zpdee.net)