Happy ‘Other’ Mother's Day!
May 8, 2005 | 12:00am
May I greet all mothers – especially my Mama Rose – a Happy Mother’s Day today. For all the joy and affection you have shared with us your children, may you be showered with all the blessings and the happiness that you deserve.
I would also like to greet "other" mothers, those women who may not be our biological mothers, but who have proven themselves to be among the best mothers around. I’ve had a number of such "other" mothers in my lifetime, two of whom I now bring to the spotlight.
One of my "other" mothers has been taking care of me since I was four months old. That was the time she – Anastacia "Tacing" Luya-Ramos – became my yaya and much more than that, a beloved family member. Over four decades later, Ate Tacing, I am glad to note, is still with our family.
Ate Tacing got married when I was four years old. I was the flower girl and to this day she still recalls how I bawled when she left for her honeymoon. She settled down in a barrio in Nasugbu, hoping to lead a quiet family life. But tragedy struck when her husband was shot point-blank at home, and Ate Tacing became a widow with two children to raise. For years she worked as a household helper in Cavite, and then in the 1980’s returned to our home which she hasn’t left since.
I cannot begin to describe the blessing that Ate Tacing has been to my family in general and to me in particular. In this day and age when helpers are so nit-pickety about what roles they will or will not perform – "Kung kusinera, kusinera; kung lavandera, lavandera, etc. (If a cook, just a cook; if a laundrywoman, just a laundrywoman; etc.)" – I admire Ate Tacing for performing her duties without "weighing" or "measuring" her contributions. When I see her working I know she does so out of a deep sense of responsibility and above all, concern for our family. Ate Tacing is one of the most trustworthy and dependable persons I know.
I do believe the Lord entrusted Ate Tacing and our family to each other; we are blessed to have each other. When it comes to hiring helpers we usually think we are doing them a favor by providing them with employment. But have we thought, perhaps, that the Lord is also doing us a favor by sending the helpers He has sent? Maybe we just have to learn how to draw forth the best from each other.
I can attest to the difference her goodness has made especially since I got breast cancer. Ate Tacing massages my back and limbs, buys me bibingka or some such treats which she knows are my favorites – even without my asking her to. Even before my illness, whenever I came home from Manila I would be pleased to discover that she had already cleaned my room. She prepares our meals, runs errands (this is so helpful since I still cannot go out of the house), and joins us in praying the rosary.
I take my hat off to Ate Tacing for she did not become bitter nor angry at God when her husband was killed and she had to raise two children as a widow. Even among her siblings, she acts as a mother; generously bringing them food and supplies whenever she goes home to Alfonso, Cavite, foregoing things for herself or her savings as a result. Her faith is clearly strong – she goes to Mass daily and attends our barangay’s cruzada whenever she can. And she reminds me not to give up, to just hang in there especially in times of pain.
Ate Tacing is a household help who only finished first grade, but in my book she has a Ph.D. in mothering.
She takes a peek inside my room and softly asks, "Ann, what would you like for breakfast tomorrow?"
It is such an ordinary question asked on such an ordinary night, except that the one asking it has been ill for at least two weeks, coughing daily, so weak at times she eventually needs dextrose and transfusion. But it isn’t the only time she has asked me what I need; she’s been doing that to me since childhood. And now, in the five months I’ve been based at home, she has set aside fruits and sweets for me, given instructions that shrimps or some such dish be cooked for me. She is simply doing exactly what she would have done if she were well.
My aunt, Tita Herminia "Emeng" Lucas, 75, is my mom’s younger sister. A retired judge, she is active with the Veterans’ organization in our town of Nasugbu, Batangas, where she has lived with us since the 1980’s.
Tita Emeng never married, but she is a mother many times over – in the truest sense of the word – to all of us her nieces and nephews, grandnieces and grandnephews.
Because my family lives in Nasugbu, my siblings, first cousins and I used to stay with Tita Meng in her Manila and then Meycauayan homes while we studied. In our growing years she emphasized the values of sharing (each piece of chocolate or cake, no matter how small, must be shared by all); being grateful for what we have; cultivating a love of reading and learning; and later when she was a judge, showing us the meaning of integrity and honesty. She is one of those persons you would genuinely respect and trust.
But what I admire most in Tita Meng is her unwavering faith in God. Since time immemorial she has gone to Mass and prayed the rosary daily, has been active in church organizations, has tried to be the best Christian she can be. Whenever she is ill I never hear her complain; instead I see her clutching her rosary in silent prayer. I do believe her staunch faith saved her from uterine cancer in the past, and also from dehydration last year during which we feared she might not pull through.
Tita Meng has a soft spot for the least of her brethren. Many times, I have seen her literally give the last money in her wallet to those in dire need. Even more admirable is that she doesn’t tell anyone about her good deeds.
Whether in court or at home, Tita Meng has brought to our lives her distinct brand of loving yet orderly mothering. I guess that’s what made her a good judge – and mother – in the first place: she has a clear understanding of human nature.
Mother’s Day is indeed a good time to celebrate when one realizes how the Lord has blessed one with so many women who have so many sterling qualities to share. They are women who enrich our lives and help make them worth living. They include our teachers, aunts, grandmothers, relatives, friends, bosses, colleagues. They are women who manifest the best facets of motherhood and mothering, the women who make this world a loving, warm and worthwhile place to live in.
Besides our own mothers, let us greet our "other" mothers a "Happy Mother’s Day" today and include them in our prayers, too. And in a genuine gesture of appreciation, let us treat people we meet to a sample of the maternal care our "other" mothers have so generously lavished on us.
(E-mail the author at annmondo@yahoo.com)
I would also like to greet "other" mothers, those women who may not be our biological mothers, but who have proven themselves to be among the best mothers around. I’ve had a number of such "other" mothers in my lifetime, two of whom I now bring to the spotlight.
Ate Tacing got married when I was four years old. I was the flower girl and to this day she still recalls how I bawled when she left for her honeymoon. She settled down in a barrio in Nasugbu, hoping to lead a quiet family life. But tragedy struck when her husband was shot point-blank at home, and Ate Tacing became a widow with two children to raise. For years she worked as a household helper in Cavite, and then in the 1980’s returned to our home which she hasn’t left since.
I cannot begin to describe the blessing that Ate Tacing has been to my family in general and to me in particular. In this day and age when helpers are so nit-pickety about what roles they will or will not perform – "Kung kusinera, kusinera; kung lavandera, lavandera, etc. (If a cook, just a cook; if a laundrywoman, just a laundrywoman; etc.)" – I admire Ate Tacing for performing her duties without "weighing" or "measuring" her contributions. When I see her working I know she does so out of a deep sense of responsibility and above all, concern for our family. Ate Tacing is one of the most trustworthy and dependable persons I know.
I do believe the Lord entrusted Ate Tacing and our family to each other; we are blessed to have each other. When it comes to hiring helpers we usually think we are doing them a favor by providing them with employment. But have we thought, perhaps, that the Lord is also doing us a favor by sending the helpers He has sent? Maybe we just have to learn how to draw forth the best from each other.
I can attest to the difference her goodness has made especially since I got breast cancer. Ate Tacing massages my back and limbs, buys me bibingka or some such treats which she knows are my favorites – even without my asking her to. Even before my illness, whenever I came home from Manila I would be pleased to discover that she had already cleaned my room. She prepares our meals, runs errands (this is so helpful since I still cannot go out of the house), and joins us in praying the rosary.
I take my hat off to Ate Tacing for she did not become bitter nor angry at God when her husband was killed and she had to raise two children as a widow. Even among her siblings, she acts as a mother; generously bringing them food and supplies whenever she goes home to Alfonso, Cavite, foregoing things for herself or her savings as a result. Her faith is clearly strong – she goes to Mass daily and attends our barangay’s cruzada whenever she can. And she reminds me not to give up, to just hang in there especially in times of pain.
Ate Tacing is a household help who only finished first grade, but in my book she has a Ph.D. in mothering.
It is such an ordinary question asked on such an ordinary night, except that the one asking it has been ill for at least two weeks, coughing daily, so weak at times she eventually needs dextrose and transfusion. But it isn’t the only time she has asked me what I need; she’s been doing that to me since childhood. And now, in the five months I’ve been based at home, she has set aside fruits and sweets for me, given instructions that shrimps or some such dish be cooked for me. She is simply doing exactly what she would have done if she were well.
My aunt, Tita Herminia "Emeng" Lucas, 75, is my mom’s younger sister. A retired judge, she is active with the Veterans’ organization in our town of Nasugbu, Batangas, where she has lived with us since the 1980’s.
Tita Emeng never married, but she is a mother many times over – in the truest sense of the word – to all of us her nieces and nephews, grandnieces and grandnephews.
Because my family lives in Nasugbu, my siblings, first cousins and I used to stay with Tita Meng in her Manila and then Meycauayan homes while we studied. In our growing years she emphasized the values of sharing (each piece of chocolate or cake, no matter how small, must be shared by all); being grateful for what we have; cultivating a love of reading and learning; and later when she was a judge, showing us the meaning of integrity and honesty. She is one of those persons you would genuinely respect and trust.
But what I admire most in Tita Meng is her unwavering faith in God. Since time immemorial she has gone to Mass and prayed the rosary daily, has been active in church organizations, has tried to be the best Christian she can be. Whenever she is ill I never hear her complain; instead I see her clutching her rosary in silent prayer. I do believe her staunch faith saved her from uterine cancer in the past, and also from dehydration last year during which we feared she might not pull through.
Tita Meng has a soft spot for the least of her brethren. Many times, I have seen her literally give the last money in her wallet to those in dire need. Even more admirable is that she doesn’t tell anyone about her good deeds.
Whether in court or at home, Tita Meng has brought to our lives her distinct brand of loving yet orderly mothering. I guess that’s what made her a good judge – and mother – in the first place: she has a clear understanding of human nature.
Besides our own mothers, let us greet our "other" mothers a "Happy Mother’s Day" today and include them in our prayers, too. And in a genuine gesture of appreciation, let us treat people we meet to a sample of the maternal care our "other" mothers have so generously lavished on us.
(E-mail the author at annmondo@yahoo.com)
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