Bring the magic back!
June 16, 2002 | 12:00am
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…
• When you walked into a crowded room, my heart would pitter-patter at the sight of your whole being.
Even now, my heart continues to race on–due to the fact that you’ve kept me waiting for over an hour in some forsaken bar with nobody to chat with but my vodka tonic.
As you always do.
• When your luscious lips brushed against mine, I would feel a positive shock rush through my whole body.
Even now, electric thrills persist–no thanks to that jabbering mouth of yours that never ends with those little white lies and annoying accusations of imperfection on my part.
My day is hardly complete without it.
• When you would journey into the world hoping for a better life for us, I would count the hours until we could hold each other close once again.
Even now, I find myself counting the hours–until that next business trip that will take you as far away from me as possible.
A week would suffice. A month… heaven!
• When you would crack a funny joke, I would be your biggest fan and laugh until I was blue in the face.
Even now, I’m still blue in the face. Should I forever remind you to put that damn toilet seat up? Or flush after bombing China?
F.Y.I.: You were never a good laugh. You do bomb pretty well though.
• When you would get that nervous tick on your left eye, I would marvel at the cuteness of your distorted face.
Even now, I tend to marvel… at how I could have ever found that flinching eyelid even remotely endearing!
It’s actually quite freaky. You should go see a doctor.
Unforgettable words from the passion-driven Elizabeth Barrett-Browning–her poems would normally enhance the life span of all those butterflies that reside in the tummy of a person madly in love! In this case, the woman’s optimism has bitterly been adapted to suit trying relationship times.
Sounding like you at all?
For your sake, I’m seriously hoping to spare you the hassle of trying to fix something that ain’t broken.
It’s simple: you’re going through a slump in your relationship. Things have plateaued. Or better still, the display of disastrous fireworks has reached alarming rates that Chinatown may not feel the need to sell any Sinturon ni Hudas this coming New Year due to the racket you make every time you two bicker. Much as I’d like to say it’s not that big of a deal, it actually can very well be one.
To quickly qualify–there is a world of difference between "loving someone" and "being in love with someone." The former is that natural dynamic that stems from two people spending time, romantic or not. The latter is that which causes that whole illusion of magic–floating on Cloud Nine; seeing the world through starry eyes; throwing all caution to the wind. You get the gist.
Now, when a slump occurs, that fundamental love is not necessary affected. It’s more of a depletion of that magic. Unless, of course, you’re both ready to throw in the towel and end the boxing match before things get ugly and ears get bitten off–there are certain steps that can be taken to salvage love lost. Or, put more clearly, there is a way to bring back that feeling of being in love.
Thanks to a lot of willing folk out there who have loved, lost, and loved again by finding a way to foster that colony of butterflies meant to find solace in one’s love-infested tummy, here’s a handful of recipes to help overcome that relationship slump… and get that roller coaster ride back on track!
• Leave all unnecessary work-oriented valuables.
(These will automatically be confiscated at the gate–if security check knew what was good for you.)
• Good music, suggestive clothes, and a ton of oysters.
(The latter two are optional. Virgins need not include them into the mix.)
Instead of that whole monotonous, "We’re going for some pizza again while watching our favorite comedy"(just like the past three nights), you can spice things up by checking out a play (seeing that you haven’t been that cultured since your fifth grade elementary class) or hang around the new jazz club that opened around, say, a year ago. But you couldn’t care less to step away from the norm.
Be bold! Try something new!
(The more the monotony, the better. It’s much more fun to mix up a distinctly boring regimen.)
• Something way out of the ordinary.
(Be it a boxing class you were planning to take together, squeezing in a dinner date every so often, or trying a sexual position other than missionary.)
"Hi Honey, my day was good… my workmates say hello… then again, they already did since you called me around five times while I was at the office and when you picked me up to go home since we live two minutes away from each other anyway." You have that on tape recorder, right? Might as well; it’s chanted everyday.
Imagine having a week or so of separate activities to chitchat about! You’ll be engaged in interesting conversation for hours! A definite way to find out so much more about one another.
This time, it’s all about you. Catch up with old friends. Have a fun night out with the girls–dinner, drinks, harmless flirting! Get back to that passion for painting. Backpack across Europe!
• His life.
Call an all-night poker session with the boys. Go watch your favorite basketball games live! Rock-climb with your college organization. Engage in a beer-chugging fest with some square workmates. Go back to the gym!
How? Try watching seven chicks wrapped over every part of your lover’s body, totally enthralled by his story about freakin’ automatic lawn mowers! It will drive you crazy! And have you want to do wildly passionate things to him in the bar’s comfort room!
The metro is jam-packed with interesting events, night after night! Pick one, and spin your magic with the crowd!
• Some kick-ass clothing!
Surely you’ll have to be extra jazzed up–for your partner to notice first. Then you can work the room! Looking fantastic always helps in the flirting game. A little cleavage here, some manly chest hair there...
• Perfume!
Nothing like a juicy trail of vanilla or earthy musk to hook some unsuspecting flirt victims!
Flirting is a calculated art. Easily misunderstood. Highly scrutinized. Be sure you’re smart about it before you indulge in it. Know your limits.
Be ready for a flood of unimaginably superb, heart-warming, love-inducing memories! Going back to a time where everything was roses and love songs will definitely help ignite a flame that seems to be long gone but which surprisingly is very alive. All it needs is a little spark.
• Your shoe box of old photographs.
• Your favorite song playing in the background or your favorite movie running in the VCR.
• Memorabilia from the places you’ve been, the concerts you’ve seen, etc.
Then again, the effectivity rate rests on whether or not there is TRUE LOVE in the mix. Just like a good slice of cake–it may taste so damn good, but after you eat it, kapoof… all gone–magic and butterflies come and go. It’s definitely good to have it come around every so often, as it’ll help make any relationship keep its luster.
However, if that foundation upon which your relationship is baked is strong and true, then you’ll be alright. You can always run to your friendly neighborhood grocery store if you run out of ingredients… they are all there if and when you need them.
(*Note: All names have been changed to protect all participants from openly admitting to the general public that they have, in fact, experienced a huge slump in their relationship at some point or another. Besides, it wouldn’t be the nicest way for their partners to find out, now would it?)
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