Ely Buendia on being a dad: 'It's everything'

I greeted Ely a late happy birthday (he turned 41 last Nov. 2) as he welcomed me into his super-cool home in Parañaque, wearing a black shirt, jeans and barefoot. I was told by friends that he is kind of shy and doesn’t talk much at first, which was quite daunting, considering I am writing this 10-point article. He may seem very serious and is quite intimidating, but close friends say he’s very kind, generous, loving, and even jolly. Always mysterious and interesting, I was full of speculations about what he really was like as a person — luckily I got to do this interview. He shared stories, smiled and laughed a lot. Here are 10 things I talked about with Ely Buendia.

1. Ely is considered a Pinoy rock icon and was part of the legendary group Eraserheads that Francis Magalona called “the most significant OPM band of Pinoy rock,” but he doesn’t even consider himself a “rock” person.

Barefoot Ely Buendia in his super cool home wearing a black shirt and ripped jeans

“I consider myself a pop songwriter in the sense that all my writing skills were gathered from listening to pop,” Ely shares. He believes that rock is just a sub-genre of pop, and pretty much everything we listen to falls under “pop” music. The earliest memory he has of singing is of learning Bicolano kundimans like Sarung Banggi from his parents who used to sing around him. He grew up listening to Rico J. Puno and Diomedes Maturan, and as he grew older, Elvis, Bob Dylan and the Beatles. He wrote his first song Unstrung Heroes when he was 14, and updated and recorded it years later. He considers the Beatles to be the best songwriters, admires how their music evolved without losing their audience, and names Ringo as his favorite Beatle because “Siya yung pinakamasaya.” When asked if he ever listens to boy bands, he actually starts singing a few lines from Backstreet Boys’ Quit Playing Games and says, “I like that.”

2. The fastest song he ever wrote was the massive hit Ang Huling El Bimbo. He wrote both the lyrics and the melody in under five minutes.

“Sabi nga nila the easiest ones are the best ones,” Ely shares.

His favorite song: “I tend to be biased about that, I like the most recent ones,” Ely says. His favorite song right now is an unconventional love song titled TNT.

Song he sang the most times: “Alapaap. I’m still singing it,” Ely says.

Song he feels he should’ve sung more: “A lot!” he exclaims. “I think my career would probably have taken a different turn if I was the one who actually chose the singles for release because I prefer the underappreciated songs,” he reveals. Hula is one of those special songs.

Ely with the first guitar he bought for P500 in Raon when he was 19. Photos by MANNY MARCELO

His most confessional song: Poor Man’s Grave, which he wrote when he was in high school and was depressed and unhappy with his life.

On his songwriting process, he shares: “I usually start with the melody, and most of those come at a time when I’m just sitting around.”

3. On the best thing about being a dad: “It’s everything.”

“I like the fact that it gives you a perspective,” Ely says. He shares that his life totally changed after his first child, and after his second child, he started to fully enjoy fatherhood. When asked what his kids inherited from him, he laughs and says, “Some of the bad traits!” He reveals his daughter Una, 19, is “always super agitated,” and son Eon, 11, is “super sensitive.” On what important life lessons he wants to teach his kids, Ely shares “I want them to be confident, to not stress too much about life, and to have fun.”

4. On love: “I do believe that people can fall in love and stay happy forever.”

At the age of 41, he sees himself somewhere between people who have turned cynical about love, and those who are romantic, passionate and hopeful about love. He says writing a song is the most romantic thing he’s done for a woman, and reveals that the most special of all would probably have to be Toyang, a song about teenage love which he wrote for Una’s mom Vicky.

His long-time manager, Diane, is also his former partner, the mother of his son, and was a much talked-about figure during the controversial breakup of the Eraserheads. “I used to think it was impossible that people who were together, then separated, could still work together,” Ely shares. In their case, they just chose to be mature about it and set their priorities straight. He reveals that he did consider getting another manager at some point, but they surpassed that stage and today, they enjoy this “harmonious” relationship as manager and talent and as parents to Eon.

5. On what is baduy and a turnoff: “Nababaduyan ako sa mga hard sell. Actually anything “hard.” Trying hard. Trying too hard.”

Ely and his band Pupil stopped traffic in EDSA for 10 minutes during the shoot of 20/20 music video.

He says his main consideration in accepting projects and endorsements is if he will be allowed artistic license on how it will come out. When asked what he thinks of the influx of reality singing searches, he says, “There’s not enough!” He adds: “Hearing people sing and watching them perform is the best thing in the world.” On the topic of qualities that attract him to a woman, within a second he says “sense of humor,” and adds, “I’m drawn to people who are just steady.”

6. Ely Buendia in numbers:

9000: Number attached to his twitter id @elybuendia9000, because he is now his “latest, newest, best version,” Ely explains.

500: Amount in pesos he paid for the first guitar he ever bought in Raon when he was 19.

2: Dogs he currently has — Teevie, a Boston Terrier, and Orion, a Japanese Spitz.

10: Number of minutes his band Pupil was allowed to stop traffic to be able to shoot on a seemingly deserted EDSA for the music video for 20/20.

13: Number of albums recorded in his 22-year career.

Ely describes his fans as just like him — “tame but weird.”

200,000: Number of Eraserheads’ “Cutterpillow” albums sold, making it his best-selling album, going five times platinum.

Ely quips: “I don’t really like numbers.”

7. In 2007, Ely suffered a heart attack. He calls himself a philosophically changed man, changing his way of thinking more than his eating habits.

He shares that he doesn’t want to be strict in his diet, considering some people can be vegetarians but still suffer some fatal illness. Exercise is part of his rehabilitation, and brisk walking is his exercise of choice. He reveals that he is now more pragmatic, is trying not to be so passionate (“Because sometimes that’s bad for you,” he says), is trying to be more positive, doing as much good work as he can. “I think that’s the only thing a man can do after being given another chance in life,” Ely says.

8. He describes his fans as being just like him (“Tame but weird”), which is why they are drawn to him. On the other hand, he has also had fans literally throw stones at him, and some who even “killed” him through text.

He shares that he doesn’t really have female fans who throw themselves at him, and in his opinion, “It’s not about the rock star, it’s about the music.” One of the toughest times he had dealing with fans was when the Eraserheads disbanded. His band after that, the Mongols, had fans that went to their gigs just to throw rocks at them. He turned things around by trying to put himself in their shoes and says, “If I was a music fan and a hero or music idol of mine did something that I did not agree with, I would also be very violent about it.” 

Ely in a gig in Cebu. Photos by Day Cabuhat and from Google Images

On more than one occasion, hoax texts spreading news of Ely’s death circulated. The latest one made him say, “Next time na may magkalat pa na patay na ‘ko di na ‘ko maniniwala.” He shares that you have to have a sense of humor about such morbid pranks, and calls it the “pinnacle of meanness” that someone would actually make that up. He reflects, however, “Well, if I died today I wouldn’t mind kasi I’ve done so much and I’m really happy.”

9. When asked now whether he feels he left the Eraserheads at the “right time,” Ely says, “I would’ve done things differently, and definitely would’ve done it sooner.”

“Siguro right after the third album, at the peak, I should’ve quit,” Ely reveals. (The E-heads released seven albums between 1993 and 2001.) He believes in quitting while you’re ahead. He recalls that the decline of the record sales — and the fun — just happened naturally, and goes on to say that if he had left earlier, “It would’ve saved everyone a lot of pain.”

10. During the much-anticipated reunion concert of the Eraserheads in 2008, as soon as the stage revealed the four members and the crowd went wild, despite everything that had happened between them, Ely, Marcus, Buddy and Raimund realized this was all bigger than them.

He reveals that things may have been awkward during the first rehearsal, but that “When you start playing, it all comes back, and all the other goes away, and it’s just four guys playing the music.” Ely agreed to do the concert because, for him, it was a win-win situation. “I was really hoping it would close the book on everything and that it would make people happy,” he shares. He says that for a time, he was really putting much effort into trying to make a different mark, and preparing for that concert was great because he was doing something without effort for a change. He goes on to say that it is always good to go back and reminisce: “That concert was a super nostalgia trip and everybody was really happy, including the four of us.”

When asked if he thinks he would ever work with them again: “I’m not discounting it or I’m not saying never. Parang Justin Bieber.” Never say never.

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After my interviews, I usually ask for an autograph in my notebook. Ely wrote: “Thanks for the wonderful set of questions,” as if he hasn’t been interviewed hundreds of times before. Ely is one of the most desired men in the country, but he claims to have been “basted” more than once back in high school and college (and he says he doesn’t know how to court girls). He is an iconic figure of this generation, but doesn’t walk around acting like he’s the sh*t. He seems to just do what he loves doing, and fame, fortune, acclaim, and a loyal following just pleasantly happened to come along with it. Definitely not hard sell nor trying hard. Effortlessly cool. 

Ely says that he wrote the song 20/20 with the loss of innocence in mind, as though looking through a child’s eyes. A lot of us definitely wish that we could see the world through Ely’s eyes.

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E-mail the author at askiamsuperbianca@yahoo.comor follow her on twitter @iamsuperbianca.