Confessions of a third-world celebrity

MANILA, Philippines - It’s been over a decade — 12 years to be exact — since I packed my bags and several balikbayan boxes and relocated to the Big Apple. It was the year 2000 and I was 21 at the time. Many people claimed I was at the height of my so-called showbiz career since I was on the air with three weekly television shows, a Sony music recording album, and film projects and endorsements up the wazoo.

I always say success is relative because even though people thought I was on top of the world, I was suffering an agonizing creative death. I felt artistically stagnant and living smack dab in front of the klieg lights had transformed me into a person I couldn’t stand — a b*atch! I had to bid the aquarium lifestyle goodbye — for my sanity and my search for fulfilling artistic pursuits. Besides, New York City was the place where I was determined I’d learn the craft and become a true actress dahil pag-napapanuod ko ang mga pelikula ko talaga nuong araw, nasusuka ako sa acting ko!

Looking back now, I must admit that moving bases was a very impulsive thing to do at the time. The transition to live in America perhaps wasn’t as difficult because for one — there was a man waiting in the wings willing to offer me the sights and sounds of the city that never sleeps. Besides a debonair boyfriend, I plunged in headfirst and took as many performing arts classes as I could manage. I went to Broadway dance center and Lee Strasberg Theatre Institute simultaneously and for once, underwent rigorous training for a profession I just fell into dahil mestiza at may itsura daw ako.

Alas, when after a year of spending all my finances I had diligently saved were close to kaput, I studied to become a bartender out of necessity. I needed to be able to support myself without having to leave for Manila to work. Yes, I worked for TIPS! I had the personality after all to not only sling cocktails but also chat up a storm with the bar patrons which translated to decent bucks. However, after two years of being in New York and a breakup that was bound to happen because of a typical jealous and controlling Filipino boyfriend, I decided to move to Hollywood, where I was mesmerized by the idea of movie stars and palm trees. Only much later did I come to know that Hollywood the place is attainable to anyone, me included, as it was only an address.

Yet, the rhetoric of being “Hollywood” pertains to the pretentious attitude that many in the area become because of the quest to become a “somebody” amongst the celebrity-clad environment. The first question I always heard when I met these people was “What do you do?” to which I would reply (and million others), “An actress!” to which I was always corrected, “Oh, you mean you want to be an actress?” Explaining how I was a household name all over Asia didn’t matter and fell on deaf ears. If they didn’t see you or know who you were associated to, then you were useless to them and therefore, irrelevant.

Living in Los Angeles since 2003 has been quite bliss in a sun-kissed convertible ride. I had an agent that sent me to all kinds of auditions before film and television people who tried numerous times to sleep with me (casting couches exist by the thousand fold). Auditioning was something I never really had to do in Manila and that process altogether was quite daunting and disheartening. Being in a room with hundreds of hopefuls who all look like they could be your sister or doppelganger was always nerve-racking and weird all at the same time. The few times I did get lucky and booked a gig, I didn’t have the proper documentation to work since I didn’t have a green card. I prayed that the willing sponsor would fall in love with my work but reality hit hard since there is always some other actress that will replace you in a heartbeat. Without a green card, you might as well go home because you’re wasting your time!

The end of 2004 turned out to be my lucky year when I got sponsored for a work visa by a hole-in-the-wall modeling agency based off of Cahuenga Boulevard and my dreams of becoming a working actor seemed finally within reach. As I returned to Manila to sort out my passport, a friend who worked next to the restaurant I was bartending at off of Pico Blvd. from L.A, came to visit. Tim Walters had no concept of my line of work or the stature I held, which was refreshing and charming. Hindi niya alam na artista ako at type na type kong hindi ako parang trophy. Sooner than both of us expected, we fell in love over the course of three short months and married on the shores of Boracay with 50 of our dearest family and friends on Feb. 19, 2005. At oo, buntis na ako nuon. Hindi ba kadalasan ganoon naman talaga ang pangyayari?

At present, we are happily married and have two children, a six-year-old girl named Sakura and a four-year-old boy named Kenobi. Raising them without any yayas has solidified our bond as their primary caretakers, too. It wasn’t easy, but I am grateful to Tim that he gave me the opportunity to stay home to raise them. As any mother knows, parenting isn’t easy no matter where you live, but most especially in the States. Ang hirap kayang walang taga tulong! Having a family away from the spotlight has helped me gain a deeper perspective on the truly important things in life. Ang mapakain, mapaliguan at mapatulog ng mahimbing ang mga anak ko ang naging mission ko sa araw-araw. Saka ko lang naaasikaso ang homework ko.

Four years ago, with the full encouragement and support of my husband, I also decided to enroll in college since staying at home was making me a little batty — okay fine…naloloka na akong walang kausap na matanda noh! I had to do something for myself for my own personal fulfillment. Insecurities set in because to think — I never even graduated high school! It was so intimidating going back to school as an adult. But thankfully, I wasn’t alone as there were many others like me looking to attain a college degree. I found myself reveling in my academic surroundings while somehow running a household with toddlers. Thank goodness for Trader Joes dahil marami akong nailuto sa microwave. I honestly don’t know how I did it but in December of last year, I finally graduated from college with honors, having finished a Bachelor of Arts in Communication Studies and a double minor in Film and Theatre at the University of California Los Angeles. Grabe talaga dahil kinareer ko talaga ang pagka-estudyante ko noh!

I had left the Philippines with the objective of becoming an artist who could really hone my craft. Becoming a working actor in Hollywood was what I wanted most. I thought that that goal in my mind would define me as successful. But my years of raising a family, living abroad and auditioning in the mad and competitive cement jungle of New York and palm tree-lined Los Angeles have reinforced the idea that no specific career goal or materialistic object can define who I am. It shouldn’t define yours as well. The dream I dreamt changed — it evolved. I may not have been able to crossover my success as a third- world celebrity and personality to Hollywood as much as I would have wanted. However, along the way, I have gained a solid group of Fil-Am artist-friends who are all chasing that same dream by really breaking through the system (mostly controlled by the Jewish community). They are people I can actively collaborate with to create content for the new generation of Fil-Ams. I’ve accomplished all my personal and academic endeavors I had never set out to do which were to raise a family away from the circus of showbiz and to finish school. The only goal I really set out to do that I attained was to learn the rigorous craft of acting/hosting and finally owning a two-door convertible (Hey, my circa mid-’90s red Miata is a simple pleasure that I gush over. Di ba kacheapan lang?).

Conan O’Brien’s commencement speech last year sums up my OFW experience: “It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound re-invention.” That reinvention timely arrives today as I find myself back in the Philippines with a TV5 teleserye deal with international pop star David Archuleta. I accepted it kahit mother role kasi di ba bongga? Eh nanay naman talaga ako! There are other prospective TV projects in development that might find me back in my home country for good. As negotiations are taking place, with my lawyers trying to work out a deal that utilizes the experience I have gained in my 12 years abroad, I feel extremely anxious to get the ball rolling. I’m a different G Tongi than that ’90s “it” girl or “crush ng bayan” because I feel it’s time to give back and share the knowledge I have painstakingly endured first hand.

No journey is easy and nothing happens overnight. I come back after all these years with a humility that shocks a lot of my colleagues and friends as my overall perspective has widened and matured. Ibang level na ’to mga kapatid! Expect to be inspired as I write more about professionalized tips to elevate your artistry and deepen one’s humanity by being exposed to other people’s real-life lessons and success stories — not “reel” ha! In short, yung totoong istorya — hindi showbiz!

(Tweet me @gtongi your positive comments and violent reactions.)