Richard Poon, Maricar Reyes: The art of fighting well

MANILA, Philippines — Richard Poon and Maricar Reyes are self-confessed opposites.

He is dominant. She is a shrinking violet. He wants to do things fast. She loves to chill. 

But they have stayed married for four years, have a flourishing business called Choco -Liquor Cakes by Maricar, and are co-authors of the book "10 Things We Fight About" (ABS-CBN Publishing, Inc).

Richard still gets jealous when another man lingers beside Maricar, or gets extra close to her. Jealousy, he explains, is part of the deal.  

“If you don’t feel jealous, perhaps you’re not really into her," he says.

The singer-songwriter and his wife are just as sensitive about  “we time.” The Poons make it a point to stay together “90 per cent of the time” simply because they are each other’s priority, even over their own business.

Maricar does not accept every TV offer  that comes her way because tapings in provincial locations will rob her of  “we time” with her husband. Richard speaks for her.

“We’re afraid, because a lot of our friends split up after having an affair with their workmates.”

The culprit, adds Maricar, is proximity. You spend more time with the other guy than your own spouse. The temptation grows every single day, until you are caught in its tender trap.

“The affair develops when you and the other person talk every day,” Richard chimes in.

Whatever happened to the virtue called trust? Richard will not bank on it too much.

“It’s nice to hear words about how strong the other person is; about how much you trust her,” he explains.

Sadly, real life is not that easy. Richard shares the story his wedding godfather, singer-songwriter Jose Mari Chan, once told him.  

The husband asked the wife to join him in the golf course. She refused. He ended up having an affair with his golf caddie. The couple patched up when they were exiled in the US and spent a lot of time with each other.

Richard tells another story, this time of a good-looking guy and his beautiful wife who work in a giant network. To Richard’s dismay, the couple called it quits by the time he bumped into them again. The culprit: the couple’s co-worker.

The Poons may be a picture of wedded bliss. He helped serve slices of Maricar’s new cake variety, Mocha  Liquor,  when she introduced it to the media recently. He suggested adding nuts to the crushed homemade biscotti that came in a clear plastic container and enhanced the cake’s flavor when used as toppings.

But make no mistake about it. The Poons are as normal as other couples who lock horns. Richard confronts issues head-on, while Maricar is evasive. She lapses into stony silence.

That is why Richard always urges Maricar to express all her bad feelings and settle the issue once and for all instead of keeping things to herself.

Maricar is learning fast. She prevents Richard from storming out of the door in anger, because the problem will remain unsolved.

“We try to be very real,” says Richard. “If you’re fighting about car keys, it’s not just about car keys. It’s something else. We analyze where it’s coming from.”

Maricar is glad she and Richard are learning more about each other’s differences now, while their first baby is yet to come.  This way, they will be more prepared to face challenges parents always go through.

For now, their new paperback and first book  together – is their baby. And they are more than happy with it.