My Facebook friend

Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder. 

Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy’s name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and had just broken up with his girlfriend. 

They arrived at Bill’s home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and some shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in the same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. 

Finally the long-awaited senior year came and three weeks before graduation, Bill asked Mark if they could talk. Bill reminded him of the day years ago when they had first met. “Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?” asked Bill. “You see, I cleaned out my locker because I didn’t want to leave a mess for anyone else.”

I had stored away some of my mother’s sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow.

“So you see, Mark, when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more, you saved my life.” Every little hello, every little smile, every helping hand, can save a hurting heart. 

This story makes me think. Some people use Facebook to attack, bash, offend and insult others. Others use Facebook to air political views and most of them are very angry. I have had a number of people sending me personal messages telling me to never stop posting thoughts and stuff that are designed to encourage and inspire.

I came home one evening and my daughter Rachel gave me a piece of very disturbing news. She said a schoolmate of hers jumped off the school building and took his own life. I went all-emotional. I started posting my thoughts on why suicide is the biggest cop out of life and is not to be considered casually.

I talked about hope being life’s most precious commodity. I talked about how some times when we see the pieces falling apart; it is actually putting the pieces in place.

One girl sent me a long PM (personal message). She says that same evening she was planning to take her own life due to personal problems and a bitter fight with her parents. And when she read the post she cried and changed her mind. I met the same girl three years later and she’s doing very well. I call her my Facebook friend.

She raises up my drive to continue to use the platform to reach out to many others who may be drowning in hopelessness, and perhaps offer a kind word of encouragement or two to help them through their situations.

Over the years, I have had the privilege of communicating with seven other young people who entertained the thought of taking their own lives and have met four of them and they seem to be doing well today. The others I have not heard from since.

Social media is powerful and is becoming the primary platform for effective product promotions and commerce. This business reality stems from the fact that people all over the world are staring at their screens reading posts, feeds and watching videos.

Yes, there are bullying and bashing and very sad accounts of digital abuse happening, but the platform can still be used for inspiring, encouraging and educating people who are in need of it.

My work is not easy. I have to stay engaged with the many who are also investing their time to view what I have to say. The responsibility is great and the digital cusses and curses hurled upon me by angry people who disagree still happen. But the episodes and testimonies of people like my Facebook friend gives me the passion to continue the work.

A speaker, trainer, broadcaster or a columnist like me is in the business of communication, and our primary objective and business is persuasion. Social media is not unique, the work simply transforms the work into digital content, but it now has a wider reach.

Yes, it is a “selfie” tool for self-promotions, but it can also be a tool for reaching out, touching lives and building people. You may want to use this for the good too. So let me ask you this question. Who is your Facebook friend and how are you doing in this area?

(Bring your leaders to the Shangri-La Hotel Makati and experience two inspiring days of leadership training with Francis Kong in his highly acclaimed and updated Level Up Leadership this March 15-16. For registration or inquiries contact April at +63928 559 1798)